The Echo Puns

Ice cream.

with the echo?

It was a resounding success.

Dentist takes one look in the guy's mouth and says, “WOW! You have a cavity! You have a cavity!”

Guy says, “Come on, you didn’t have to say it twice.”

Dentist says, “I didn’t say it twice - that was just the echo….”

but I think there must have been a Bad Echo in the room.

My Mom (yelled from another room in the house directed at my brother): Are you studying, Bob?

Me (Yelling back): Why would I study bob?

My whole family groaned from various rooms.

2 dolphins are swimming in the ocean. First dolphin says, "hey remember the other day when you had those cinnamon tictacs? Those were delicious. Can I get one?" Second dolphin says, "Aw man, I would but I lost them. We should totally look for them." First dolphin says, "I echo your cinnamints"

Anyone who makes a pun about iron should pay a periodic Fe, I would stop now but that'd be Nobel of me, HeHeHe. Be sure to take a deep breath before you say "NO". At this point you might thinking we should get Iridium of this guy in rl too. I'll eventually run out of chemical puns, right? Na, which might be your mood coincidentally. This guy must be a fake as Silicone, he got this from somewhere to which I reply, Si, senor! I Cu calling for the coppers, but any "Bro" of mine wouldn't. Don't worry, the best ones Argon by now. Au reading this! This winding list is surely golden by now, right?

As we close this out, allow me to echo your thoughts one last time, Fr y'all.

"F"In"Al"Y"

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to make her final preparations to move to Switzerland.

When she arrived back home, the thought occurred to her that she had not seen a “W.C.” in the room or even down the hall. (A W.C. is short for “water closet” and is what the English call a toilet.) So she immediately emailed the pastor to ask him where the “W.C.” is located.

The Swiss pastor had never heard of a “W.C.,” and so he Googled the abbreviation and found an article titled “Wayside Chapels.” Thinking that the English lady was asking about a country church to attend near her new home, the pastor responded as follows:

Ms. Smith,

I look forward to your move. Regarding your question about the location of the W.C., the closest W.C. is situated only two miles from the room you have rented, in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees. The W.C. has a maximum occupancy of 229 people, but not that many people usually go on weekdays. I suggest you plan to go on Thursday evenings when there is a sing-along. The acoustics are remarkable and the happy sounds of so many people echo throughout the W.C.

Sunday mornings are extremely crowded. The locals tend to arrive early and many bring their lunches to make a day of it. Those who arrive just in time can usually be squeezed into the W.C. before things start, but not always. Best to go early if you can!

It may interest you to know that my own daughter was married in the W.C. and it was there that she met her husband. I remember how everyone crowded in to sit close to the bride and groom. There were two people to a seat ordinarily occupied by one, but our friends and family were happy to share.  I will admit that my wife and I felt particularly relieved when it was over. We were truly wiped out.

Because of my responsibilities in town, I can’t go as often as I used to. In fact, I haven’t been in well over a year. I can tell you I really miss regularly going to the W.C. Let’s plan on going together for your first visit. I can reserve us seats where you will be seen by all.

Sincerely,

Pastor Kurt Meier

(Context: our Amazon Alexa uses the keyword 'echo' and my daughter doesn't have one in her room)

The following conversation took place in my daughter's room:

Me: Echo, turn on the lights.

Daughter: There's no echo in here.

Me: Pardon?

Daughter: There's no echo in here.

About halfway through the valley, drumbeats started rolling from the mountains around them. Everyone in the party was confused, but the local guides started to panic.

"We HAVE to get out of here by sundown, OR ELSE".

The explorer orders his men to pick up the pace, and keep moving. A couple hours later, The drums start beating more and more frantically. Again, the guides say: "Keep moving, WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE".

A bit later, the men hear horns echoing from the hills.

The explorer asks his guides: "what was that?"

They respond: "theres no time, we need to be out BEFORE SUNDOWN, we only have a few hours!!!".

Exasperated, the explorer asks "Why? What could be so urgent? And why do we have to get out by sundown?".

The guides reply, "at sundown, the bagpipe solo starts!"

As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he ever farted in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it!

I remarked, "Dang, He is flying"

Dad immediately pointed to a plane and said, "No he is flying"

Groans echoed from the car

Once upon a time, there was a little red man who lived in a little red house and lived a happy little red life

One day, the Little Red Man decided to take a shower. while he was showering, he heard a little red knock on his little red door echo through his little red halls and into his little red ear. He got out of the little red shower and wrapped a little red towel around his little red waist and went to the door

At the door was an little old lady who was doorknocking for charity. just as he was making a donation,a breeze went by and the little red man's little red towel blew off his little red waist. The little old lady was shocked at his sudden exposure and ran across the road. as she was half way across, she was hit by a semi-trailer.

The moral of the story is: Don't cross The Road when The Little Red Man is Flashing.

talking to the Amazon echo

Me: Alexia play eminem

Son: Alexa stop! Daddy tell it to play skittles

Me: Do you mean skrillex?

Son: No skittles

Me: Buddy I don't know of a band called that

Son: Then why is there a band called Eminem???

Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.

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(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?

My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.

He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"

I like to think he slept on the couch that night.

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(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.

An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad's sitting before these stuffy, serious, wrinkly old board members and managers, having his (mostly military) resume picked through.

"Well Mister Smith, we're impressed. Twenty two years is no small amount of time to dedicate to the service. But do you feel you're qualified to operate and audit a civilian fission power plant?"

My dad thinks on it for a second.

"Well no, sir, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

He got the job immediately.

(For those needing the reference)

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Thanks for caring to read. I miss him a lot and this subreddit always reminds me of his sense of dry, quick humor. Take care!

Asked Amazon's Echo speaker (I guess her name is Alexa) to tell me a bad joke.

Alexa: "there's music coming from the printer, the paper must be jamming"

So this morning on my way to work I stopped at a Walgreens to grab some snacks and drinks. (For those unknowing, it's a pharmacy/grocery) I recently quit smoking and found the snacking helps on cravings.

Anyhow, the clerk rings me up and says my total: "$7.11." Without even thinking it I blurt out "It's not a seven-eleven. It's a Walgreens."

Suddenly terrified that I am apparently a dad, I grabbed my stuff and left, the haunting echoes of laughter behind me.

I had just entered the kitchen and my dad was about to go out the front door, when he suddenly turned to me and simply said "pussy".

Me: "for what?"

Dad: "Pussy!"

Me: "I don't get it!"

And THEN HE JUST WALKED AWAY giggling like he always does, and slammed the door. My last words were just echoing in my head after the complete silence he'd left me in, which made it so much more embarrassing.

I was sitting at the kitchen table earlier today eating lunch when my dad let out a echoing fart.

I told him "Dad I'm eating lunch"

He looked at me deadpan and without skipping a beat said "Oh don't worry you're not bothering me."

Me: What's the problem with it?

Friend: It echoes!

Me: It echoes!

Friend: Yeah, it just doesn't stop echoing.

Me: Echoing.

Mickey's Clubhouse is on. Mickey and friends walk up to Donald's door.

Mickey: "Hi Donald, Pluto told us to come over to your house!"

Me (Akroyd voice): "We're on a mission from Dog."

The groans echoed.

My step dad and my mom were going to go on a motorcycle ride since he got it working today, and he yelled up the stairs to tell me.

Him: Hey, your mom and I are going on a bike ride!

Me: Okay.

Him: Your mom also said that there is Michellena's in the freezer (Michellena's is a really fucking cheap frozen dinner thing).

Me: Okay, thanks!

Him: Maybe you should let her out!

The house got really quiet and all you could hear was my sigh echoing off the walls.