After this storm, I will no longer be able to make jokes about the drought in California

There goes my dry sense of humor

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👤︎ u/COO0OOKIE
📅︎ Jan 05 2023
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My farmer friend was complaining about the drought this year.

I am planning to send him a Get Well Soon Card.

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📅︎ Feb 09 2018
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A woman finds a lamp and of course it contains a genie... ... which offers to give her only one wish as he is very much tired from his 10.000 years of imprisonment.

,,I want a million dollars!'' she screams excited.

The Genie nods. ,,It shall be as you wi-''

,,No!'' interrupts the woman. ,,Such a wish is selfish and petty. No, what I want is for wars to end.'' She drags forth a handy map of the world. ,,See these countries? They are scarred with ancient bloodfeuds. You should show them peace. Yes, that's my wish.''

,,B-but ma'm, that's impossible! Their hearts are so hardened, and I would have to prevent droughts and hunger and disarm all threats...-'' pleas the genie desperately.

,,Very well, since you're so tired, I guess I'll settle for something else. Now... I've been without a man for so long, and my last husband was nothing short of a rat, so I'd like a man. A man that... does the laundry and the dishes and vaccuums the house. He must be gentle in manners but wild and talented in bed, and of course sexy and handsome. He must love me more than anything else in this world and tell me so each day with a bouquet of flowers. But most of all he'll have to understand me. Yes, that's what I want, the perfect man.''

The genie sighs. ,,Just give me the fucking map.'

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👤︎ u/YZXFILE
📅︎ Nov 16 2021
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Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

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👤︎ u/ProfComm
📅︎ Nov 12 2014
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I got the perfect opening earlier today

While driving past a winery in California my mom says, "I wonder how the droughts will affect the grapes"

"I imagine the wine will be a bit drier"

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👤︎ u/Midpeaks3
📅︎ Feb 03 2014
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