Doctor's are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
He was outstanding in his field
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
His office has a high plaque build-up
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
because he was out standing in his field
Rip
He was outstanding in his field.
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
Itโs kinda a big dill.
All of them
The no-bell prize
the details are a little sketchy
Make it throw a nun.
Then it becomes a nun chuck
The autopsy revealed he overdosed on quack.
Now all I've got is Nokia!
Feyonce
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
A de-composer
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasnโt expecting this!
A happy medium
Malarious
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
I said Iโd nominate her for the SAG awards.
I suppose you could say they were free of charge.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
2021
They're free of charge
You are what you eat
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesnโt use Reddit). ๐
Otherwise, they will ...be rolling in their graves.
They're not going cheep.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
then your curiosity killed the cat.
It was outstanding in it's field.
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
I told him I didnโt realize Iโve been saying it wrong all these years.
He was outstanding in his field
He was out standing in his field.
The no bell prize.
Because he was outstanding in his field
The No-Bell Prize ๐บ๐ผ
