I'm, uh...asking for a friend. 👀
“Changing old routines that are associated with our addiction is an important tool for staying sober.”
Tools of Recovery, page 13
I immediately felt at home in SAA, but worried that you would not accept me. I was married to a woman but acted out with men. I helped others but couldn’t help myself. You welcomed me; no one shamed me; I belonged. I took your suggestions: went to meetings, found a sponsor, made phone calls, and started the Steps.
In addiction I would sexualize uncomfortable feelings into acting-out fuel. A month ago I was at work on a Friday, my traditional acting-out day. It was a slow day. I felt uncomfortable, and all the old pain and fear came back. I dipped into what my sponsor and I call dysphoric recall—regret, shame, and hopelessness.
But this time, I had choices for addressing those uncomfortable feelings and memories. I made phone calls and texts to my sponsor and program friends. I even had the courage to let my wife know what was going on. She appreciated my trust in her. The day came and went, and I stayed sober.
I’m still me and can still struggle with negative self-talk like, “I don’t deserve grace, forgiveness, or belonging.” When the old tapes re-emerge, it’s a clue that something may be going on in me, and I need to reach out. With the tools of recovery, I can recognize those uncomfortable feelings for what they are and let them pass as they always do.
This feeling will pass whether I act out or not. Today, I have choices.
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Leave your thoughts on today's meditation in the comments below. Remember, something you write could help another sex addict stay sober.
Read all meditations online or purchase the book (paperback and e-book formats available).
“In our addiction we held onto the belief that we were in control of our sexual behavior and could successfully manage our lives.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 22
It wasn’t until I started to work the SAA program that I could finally admit I had a problem. My sex addiction was destroying me. It was out of control. Like a caged wild animal, my acting out behavior had broken free and I was completely powerless to stop it. I had to admit defeat and let go in order to see how insane I had become. My resistance, though, was strong. My sex addiction has always been grounded on one fundamental human need: safety.
As a survivor of childhood incest, I was never safe. By acting out, my primary instinct was to gain control over people, places, things, and myself. I tried to play God and successfully run my sex life in the only way I knew—to win. Step One teaches me the miracle paradox of recovery: to truly win, I must admit defeat. Only by admitting and ultimately accepting that I am 100% powerless over my sex addiction and that my life is unmanageable, can I begin the life-saving journey of the Twelve Steps. I can now accept that the moment I begin to practice Step One, I won. I let go of my way, which never worked, and allowed my Higher Power to heal me from the inside out.
Step One grants me the humility I need to let go of control and trust my Higher Power.
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Leave your thoughts on today's meditation in the comments below. Remember, something you write could help another sex addict stay sober.
Read all meditations online or purchase the book (paperback and e-book formats available).
I played and contributed to the event but haven’t been able to play for the past couple days and now the voice line and victory pose is locked. I know the due date is passed to collect it but I did play during the event. Will there be another time to collect it again or buy it with credits at least.
Hi, are you all prepared for Nico Puri's 1061 combo? Garazu no Hanazono, 993 combo and COLORFUL VOICE 877 combo? What are your expectations? Nico Puri has the highest note count. I think Garazu second. RIP fingers. I can't even FC Nico Puri yet on Expert....
Based on L's guide (https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) ( u/Lsomethingsomething ) I've created this sequence of exercises that I do every morning after breakfast. Maybe it can help some of you too! I'm also open to suggestions if I need to add anything to it, here it goes:
Inspiration
-Listen to people I want to sound like
Vocal Tract Length
-Whisper Siren: https://youtu.be/F6Noi2qERus?t=288 (add "kee" at the end)
Pitch
-Speak between F3 and F4
Resonance
-Speak with raised larynx, tongue pushing up and forward. https://youtu.be/yFot-l2iVHw?t=551
Open Quotient
-Add some breath to soften the voice. Go from a whisper to normal speaking voice
Intonation
-Smile while speaking, focus on horizontal mouth openings. Increase pitch variation on speech (like a princess)
Articulation
-Add vowel and consonant mods: Replace vowel sounds with a slightly brighter one. Reduce tongue and lips movement on consonants. (valley girl for English)
Vocal Twang
-Heighten Larynx, widen the embouchure, lift the tongue root, lower soft palate: https://youtu.be/1BLVrYKmwvc?t=535
Throat Closure
-Gain control of the pharynx by speaking like Britney, Gollum: https://youtu.be/phuaeXjWpSQ?t=172
Exploration
-Practice Mantras focusing on technique: https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3cqqm/ls_voice_training_guide_level_4_for_mtf/
https://youtu.be/XNPPSd3AVwM?t=94
Polishing
-Record myself and also ask for the opinion of others to improve how I sound
Performance
-Practice a bit after waking up and before going to sleep
-Alternate between male and female voice
-Create a stealth phrase ("ummm, let's see")
-Throat Clear: https://youtu.be/_DP6KB5j2qQ?t=23
-Cough: https://youtu.be/IP-mRByleSc?t=60
ps. from time to time it's always good to read L's guide again, it's done perfectly and
... keep reading on reddit ➡While I still think he should keep singing, his voice obviously had not fared well with 20 odd years of yelling. I do think it's still pretty great, and it would be great to hear with new music, it feels really weird to me hearing him sing his old songs. Maybe I'm just used to the original voice, but I feel it doesn't fit. At least not as well. But however things are handled, anything's better than his voice in FOATM.
Using a throwaway.
So I have told my therapist this but I kind of...downplayed how important the voice is in my head. I talk to the voice aaalll the time, almost on a constant basis. And it’s not like I’m lonely. I have a ton of friends that I spend time with and talk to on a regular basis but the voice is still always there. He is actually the one who convinced me to go to therapy because my depression and anxiety was getting really bad and he wanted me to get help. I told my therapist that he’s there to just help me through problems I have (which he does...we bounce ideas off of each other until a solution comes up) and it was like having someone to talk to who couldn’t tell someone else my problems. She told me not to worry about it because it just sounds like a coping mechanism but I also wasn’t completely honest with her about the importance of the voice in my head and I also wasn’t honest that it was separate. She just thought my “thought voice” is masculine instead of being a separate entity. I just didn’t correct her.
Hello. I am really trying to improve my singing and my voice. I have been doing warm ups and exercises everyday for nearly 3 months now and singing along to songs that I really like. I am also part of my school’s choir. I definitely feel that I’ve improved, but is this a good way to continue improving? Is there anything I should add?
In episode 264, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and podcast host Teresa Lee to discuss Woodstock 50, the Once Upon A Time In Hollywood trailer, Trump continuing to attack John McCain, the new EPA administrator Andrew Wheeler's first interview, concertina wire being stolen from the border fence, how college admissions are a mess, AirPods getting an upgrade, Elizabeth Holmes' voice, brother of the year Michael Sanchez, and more!
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Thank-you. Perhaps team up with someone you know for accountability.
Hi,
Is there an Easy way to create a bot that will run daily and go through a 'flowchart' like process using voice/speech recognition?
Ergo, at 8am every day run --> say good morning --> ask the user a question --> based on user response - select the next question to ask or offer solution [really hoping it can 'speak' and 'listen' to the user]
Thank you!
