My dad went to the store to buy milk, i said β€œsure, old man” and he said β€œim not good at comebacks”

I never saw him again

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Saw Han making his comeback in the new Fast & Furious 9 trailer

I bet none of the ladies are going to Wuhan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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What imaginary creature has the best comebacks?

The sass-quatch

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Everytime I do the Fonzie gag, my son always does that cheeky comeback, watch:

"Ayyyy!"

"B!"

"See?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainN3rd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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[REQUEST] I'm looking for the best comeback to the old schoolyard joke, "Do you like seeeeee food?" While smacking and showing off the half chewed mouthful of lunchable they'd just choked down....

And I know most of you here can do better than my,

While stiff arming their face, "I don't wanna seeeeee yo food."

Do you get it? Do ya, cause it's about turning the joke back... You get it right?

Anyway, help a guy increase his dadjoke street cred with his kiddo and his lunchroom hecklers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerHero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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Need help with a pun, please

Hey guys. I need help with a pun, I've been thinking about it for a while and haven't come up with it. In Portuguese you informally say "xau" when you're saying goodbye to someone (sound's almost as the Italian "ciao"). I have a friend who always makes this funny pun when we're going our separate ways, he always says "Xau-sescu" (CeauΘ™escu - as in the Romanian dictator) and for a few months I've been looking for a nice comeback to that pun. I was looking for a way to incorporate the name of a dictator and the word "goodbye" (in any language possible), but so far I haven't been able to. Could you guys help me out? In my native language, Portuguese, I haven't come up with anything cool (my knowleadge in dictator's names is also not very vast).

Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pauloliveira94
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
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I guess I have hipsters to thank for this one

My dad was just flicking through a gadget magazine and was scoffing at the music section:

Dad: "It's weird how turntables have made a comeback, I remember a few years ago you couldn't even give them away"

Me: "Yeah, I guess the tables have turned"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trinitykill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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Dad Jokes I Tell My Kids

I have a 6 year-old and a 8 year-old.

Whenever my kids ask me, "Dad, can I ask you a question?" I reply, "You just did." And then smile.

Also, whenever my kids say, "Dad, guess what?" I comeback with something completely ludicrous, "Uh, you just saw an polka-dotted elephant in the kitchen and he stole your lunch?"

They do not find it humorous at all. But, I crack myself up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papabois
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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r/puns can you help me out with one on height?

I'm texting a friend and made a joke about his height which he responded with "that's a low blow". I wanted to make a snappy comeback with something along the lines of "I guess you could say it was a _________" but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe you can help out? :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHateTexting
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2013
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Need help for good puns

My class is making a short action film. In this scene the main character just strangled a bad guy using his own earphones. Then he drops the dead body and puts on sunglasses (csi style) and says......????? Help Make a good pun and or comeback. (does not have to be school appropriate) I'm opun to any ideals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3XPL01T
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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Girlfriend dad joked me at her birthday supper.

So we were out at a restaurant for her birthday and we're both teasing each other. She got in a really good zinger on me and with no comeback I grabbed the salt shaker and put a very small amount of salt on her fries as a joke.

She puts down her fork and with a completely series face says "I'm inSALTed".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kill_Frosty
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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Picky eater and coming into the family

I was at my in laws yesterday and I had an epic comeback.

MIL: I'm having pizza for dinner.
Me: Yeah and you'll get a pizza that tastes like a pizza. (She said she likes her pizza to taste like a pizza none of that BBQ chicken pizza stuff)
MIL: Ok. Coming from Mr Picky who didn't eat anything before he came into my family.
Me: The only thing I came into was your daughter.

To add to it all my wife is pregnant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellsdavidj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
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My mom told a dad joke today.

(ordering pizza)

Me "Half pepperoni, half cheese"

Her "What side do you want the pepperoni on?"

Me "...."

I was speechless! Usually I'm on my comeback game when dealing with my dad, but this was totally unexpected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChromaMean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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Boss and coworkers' conversation.

My boss likes to bust one of my coworker's balls. It's all in good fun and it usually results in a witty comeback.

Boss: I'll have to pick up some diapers for the grand kid after work. Hey Kevin, do you want me to grab you some?

Kevin: Depends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANDTHEMETSWIN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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Tried to dadjoke my dad

My dad was taking my girlfriend home and I was coming with, in the car we were talking about Little Britain and we were talking about the old lady that pees everywhere.

Me: You know they got in a lot of trouble because of those sketches.

Gf: Really?

Me: Yeah, from the Continence Society.

pause

Me: They could barely contain themselves...I'm so sorry, that was in bad taste.

Gf: You're going to Hell.

Dad: You're taking the piss.

I am genuinely sorry if my joke did offend anyone, I just wanted to share my dad's quick comeback because it had all of us laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paradeoxy1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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