The Chorus Puns

It was a rechoirment for them to go and another group was aBANDoned

It was Baaaaaaaroque music.

grins sheepishly

But there were so many stage lights turned towards me that…

I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights.

How can you be so hatless?

He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long

"Country!"

I was buying new tires for my car. While I was discussing my options the person down the counter was flustered at the prices she was being offered. To this she loudly asked:

"I put the same ones on my husbands Jeep last year! What happened? Why are they so expensive?!"

To which I looked at over and loudly stated. "Inflation."

The guys behind the counter laughed. The rest of the room groaned out a chorus of dadjoke music that should have been filmed live in front of a studio audience.

While I was out with the family getting ice cream, the crowded shop had one of those awkward moments where everyone randomly goes quiet all at the same time - just as the confectioner handed me my ice cream.

I proceeded to ask “Where does someone learn to make ice cream this good?”

Confectioner - “I’m not sure… the morning crew makes the batches”

“Did they learn at sundae school???”

I could not have been prouder with the chorus of groans and chuckles that rang throughout the shop.

The chorus went "No, I don't want no shrubs"

After a particularly hot and busy shift one night I walked into the break room where several other staff members were hanging out either on their break or done for the evening. One of them, noticing how sweaty I'd gotten in the heat, asked if I was okay. With a glint in my eye and a devious grin I turned to them and replied:

"just call me mayonnaise..." *confused looks on everyone's faces* "...because I'm egg-sauce-ted"

Having been the only dad in a room full of young folk I'd seen an opportunity I couldn't resist and taken it. I was greeted by a chorus of pained groans as everyone tried to un-hear my god-awful play on words only to discover that it was indelibly etched in their minds, permanently taking up a small piece of otherwise-useful brain space.

Needless to say, it was immensely satisfying. They may not have laughed but I laughed harder than I have in a good while.

The main chorus.

There once was a lumberjack who was known as the hardest working lumberjack in the woods. Old Doolittle Dawort Deigh had a reputation and the complete respect of his coworkers for nearly 60 years. As we all know, tough lumberjacks can’t have sissy names. So many years ago, as was the tradition in the woods, old Doolittle Dawort Deigh was saddled with a nickname and had become known as simply Do Dah.

One tragic afternoon, old Do Dah was working his trade when a tree happened to fall the wrong way. Poor old Do Dah was squished flatter than a lumberjack flapjack. His coworkers, distraught at the thought of breaking the news of Do Dah’s death to his elderly wife, decided that perhaps if bad news was presented in a somewhat good way, it might soften the blow.

So that afternoon, old Do Dah’s fellow lumberjacks gathered on the stoop of the now widowed Mrs. Deigh and hesitantly knocked on the door. It took a few minutes for the old widow to make it across the room to the door. Finally as the door creaked open, the chorus of lumberjacks launched into a rousing rendition of

♪ Guess who died in the woods today ♫ Do Dah, Do Dah. ♫ Guess who died in the woods today Old Do Dah Deigh. ♬

My classroom has air conditioning, but it only kicks in on warm days like today. When my fifth graders came in this morning, a couple immediately started complaining. "It's freezing in here!"

I had been waiting for this opportunity all year! I pointed to the corner of the room. "Well, if you're cold, you can go stand over there. The corner is 90º!"

The best part was the chorus of incredulous students shouting "really?!" who then went over to investigate. It wasn't until they pointed out that the temperature was same over there that they realized they had been duped.

The Headless Chorus-Men

So I just sang my wife the chorus from boots are made for walking but I changed it a little. It goes like this: ♪Those hips are made for birthin', and that's just what they'll do. One of these days next week they'll push a baby out of you!♪

She wasn't very excited. Talk about a tough critic...

My dad and I were watching the ball drop when Miley started performing 'Wrecking Ball'.

He turns to me and says, "Knock, knock"

Me, "Oh God, who's there?"

Him, "Hakeem"

Me, "Hakkem who?"

and right as the chorus came on, he sings at the top of his lungs,

"HAKEEEEEEM INNN LIKEEE A WREEECKKKKINNNGG BALLLL!"

So this was in the summer of 2011 and at the time this song was a big hit: Medina - You and I. The important part here is the chorus, starting at 0:44.

So in the middle of the song I ask my friend "Do you know what kind of car this singer drives?"
"No idea", she said. To which I replied "A hyu-n-dai."

She almost threw me out of the car.

I work for an organisation which has a very institutionalised system whereby the newest hires are the shit kickers and the people who have been there longest have it easiest. I knew it when I signed up and now I've done my time and moved up the totem pole a bit. I was lucky enough to be one of 10 people hired at the same time in this hiring period and so the shit was spread out a bit.

We have a small fleet of cars that need to be washed every Sunday. This is the newest hire's responsibility. About 2-3 months into the job I was washing the cars with a few of my other new colleagues. Our supervisor pokes his head out of the building and barks at us "Make sure you do a good job; don't forget to do the wheels!"

"Don't worry boss," I replied, "I'll do a wheelie good job!"

Have you ever heard a chorus of groans? I have.

During our trip, U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" played on the radio.

When Bono sang that line in the first chorus, my dad replied, "Really, Bono? You've been looking for like 20 years now!"

I'm visiting my parents from out of town and we all had gone outside to see the super moon and the meteor shower.

My dad waited until I said something along the lines of "oh wow look at the super moon."

That's when it started. He began singing "Super moon, super moon, it's super moonay" to the tune of "super freak." My mom, not to be outdone, joined in.

I'm clearly not having it so after seeing the super moon I go back inside. They follow me inside and I trip over their dog Tink. Annoyed I said, "Stupid Tink" setting off a new chorus of Super Tink.

We are in the left most lane on a three lane street and the guy in the middle lane turns left in front of us and cuts us off.

My mom: "He had to cut us off because he couldn't get into the right lane."

Dad: "You mean the left lane."

Mom: "God damnit."

Chorus of laugher from me and my dad.

We had just finished up the annual St. Patty's Irish dinner and my mother-in-law says, "I counted out the potatoes before I cooked, but I guess I didn't cook enough."

Me: "So I guess you could say we have a real...potato famine?"

I promptly saw myself out to a chorus of groans.