The Checkers Puns

I told her to leave it in the carton.

I've probably told checkers that 100 times, and not once did they get the joke.

All of his stories had Twist endings.

What do you call a man from Montreal wearing a plaid suit? > >>!A checkered Quebecker!!<

What do call a Calgarian with a water pistol? > >>!A squitin' Albertan!!<

What do you get when you drown a Vancouverite in the ocean? > >>!A wet ghost from the West Coast!!<

What do you call a silly Newfoundlander? > >>!A goofy Newfie!!<

What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy from Sudbury? > >>!An Aryan Ontarian!!<

These all suck and I'm sorry.

She knew all her customer's names, and they all knew and loved her. Unfortunately her husband passed away and she took it hard. So hard in fact that she took to the bottle. So badly her work began to suffer. It got to the point that the store owner realized he had to take action. Reluctantly he called her into his office one Friday. "Martha, I know you've been here a long time but I'm going to have to let you go." Martha was taken aback "But why?" "Because checkers can't be boozers"

He had one two one two one two many.

...a race issue.

You're my one two, one two

Ran into Costco to grab a take and bake pizza for dinner. As I handed my receipt (the only item was the pizza) to the guy at the door, I tried to give a lame joke and he returned the favor.

Me: don't lose count now, this is a tough one

Costco guy: well that's awfully cheesy

Hey Redditors, I am helping to host a trade show and the theme is "Game Changer." One subject line I made was "Still Pawn-dering about -trade show-?" and I am trying to keep it along the lines of Chess, Checkers, and Scrabble, or other board games. Thank you in advance for reading and/or your help!

Did I just break the rules by being racist?

I hope nobody says I just colored outside the lines. Wait, did she say colored? But I guess everyone knows my checkered past.

I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

I have a job bagging groceries at a grocery store. A woman came up to the checkstand with a bunch of red, white, and blue plates. I said to her, "You must be feeling very platriotic. Both her and the checker just gave me a blank stare.

During lunch, dad takes the blue/white checkered napkins, wraps it around the cat's head and proudly exclaims, "look! Yassir Aracat!"

I said "No! Leave it in the jug!" Can you imagine the mess?