Since finishing having kids a few years ago, my (now 39yo) wife has not been interested in sex - for a long time she would go though the motions for my sake but grew to resent the "chore" more and more to the point where she would avoid me like the plague and we were fighting about it all the time. She swears its not me and that its not due to bad performance etc... she just doesnt want to.
We have done some reading and been to a councillor but it always ends up along the "learning to be nicer to her so she'll get in the mood" lines which is rubbish for our situation. No matter how happy, relaxed, rested, etc she is, the idea of sex is an instant agitation to her and she gets mad.
Essentially...
- if I try to get her in the mood, she gets pissed.
- if I am super nice and thoughtful etc, she is happy but nothing happens.
- if i do nothing, nothing happens.
Recently Ive stopped asking... and the fighting has stopped and she's happy... but Im dying inside.
Is our relationship over and we just need to cut the cord? Or is it normal and do i need to just come to terms with my sex life being over? I dont want an affair etc, I want my wife to want a physical relationship with me... is that too much to ask?
Wit's End.
This is the way which I envision it. There are multiple huge tribes of actual nomads that travel across the world on sky bison, and are ruled by and have to support the four temples of the wind. (This relationship is slightly inspired by serfs and Catholic Church in medieval Europe.) Whenever someone with the power to bend wind reaches a certain age in the nomadic tribes, he or she gets sent to one of the temples to learn the art of airbending. At the culmination of this training, the air bender gets his tatoos and decides whether to live a life of seclusion, celibacy, meditation, and training, free from all worldly attractions, or whether to rejoin and protect his tribe as a warrior, and live the hard but worldly life of a nomad. I feel this has a lot of potential for conflict between the aloof and separated spiritual leaders, and the struggling and practical nomads who have to feed them. What do y’all think?
You don’t hear this going on with religious leaders who are married, such as Protestant ministers.
I'm so confused.
What is the difference between asexuality and celibacy? Because people are telling me asexual people can still get aroused and feel sexual pleasure.
I tend to get triggered by women, but dislike that it's happening and wish it wasn't and do not want to have sex with them for a very long time at the very least (like 15 years) due to many many many many many reasons. Is this asexuality? Or celibacy? I imagine after 15 years of no orgasms and no sex you would like not have much desire anymore and would probably be considered Asexual :/
And I won’t ask for their consent.
So moving past that nonsense, what are some fun counts to start of as. I've done the count of Surrey race to England Kingdom by the second ruler.
Need something new.
I always hear some people in Christian groups say “God calls them to singleness” and that God designs some people to not get married. Or the gift of singleness. Random little statements like that. Is there a part of the Bible these come from? Or are these just random buzz things Christmas hear and repeat.
I made a post on the main subreddit about this and basically everyone completely roasted me. Just said a bunch of stuff about how I shouldn't become a priest. I got some helpful PMs from people telling them not to let it get to me. But it kind of did for a little while. I even considered becoming an Episcopal priest instead partly because of the comments in that thread.
I am committed to the Bible, and the Catechism/teachings around things, but am upset about the way some Catholics and even the institutional church have dealt with things surrounding homosexuality and especially the pedophilia crisis.
I am a deeply spiritual and religious person. I have been discerning my vocation to the Jesuits for three years, since I was in high school, but have wavered in the intensity of my vocation. However it has never gone away from me. No matter how far I run from my vocation and even Catholicism, it catches up to me. God catches up to me.
I am kind of in a state of desolation regarding my sexuality. Even though I'm celibate, that means it's STILL not enough for me to pursue my vocation? Just because I am biologically predisposed to be attracted to other men? My spiritual director and many priests I am in contact with know I am gay and have assured me it won't be a problem. But these people on /r/Catholicism seem to regard me as pure evil.
I need advice. I haven't been to church in a while. I'm going tomorrow. I haven't been in contact with my spiritual director, but I'm in desperate need of direction!
A horny whore knee.
He was christian. The first thing he said was that he was gay, but he never had, nor never will, have a sexual or romantic relationship with another man by choice. My first reaction was anger and confusion, but then I just got really, really sad.
His family, he said, was totally accepting of him, as were his friends. But he said that biblically his sexuality was a sin. He cited verses from Genesis 2, saying that God intended man to become one with woman and that it was impossible for him as a gay man to unite in the same way.
But, he said, familial love and platonic love played a vital role in his life. He was a very educated speaker; he understood that families are not born but forged, and that he sought happiness from that. He even understood that queer people can and do find actual love.
At the end, he took questions. My classmate asked if he had found happiness through this lifestyle. He said: "I am always going to be searching for love. Whether it's through friends, or family, I will never be satisfied. I will always be searching and yearning for more." And my heart just broke for him. Not because he chose to be celibate, but that he firmly believed and accepted that romantic love would never be an option. I just wanted to befriend him, being a queer woman myself, and let him know he doesn't need to alienate himself like this.
I think the most important thing was that he understood his church and religious family didn't find fault in his attractions. They were, as he said, more accepting to him than HE was. It's just disheartening to hear that people live this way, excluding themselves, because of the way they interpret the Bible. My heart aches for people like him who choose to marry the opposite sex or hide who they are forever.
But this just affirmed my athiesm. I would never restrict myself of happiness like that. And I hope someday he finds that he can live his life freely and separately from this torment.
If he is now a member of the Kingsguard doesn't that mean he takes a vow of celibacy? What a waste of talent!
I apologize for asking such a difficult and controversial subject that is shunned away from other subreddits, but I have yet to find a solid answer in my research. Please don't assume that because I have looked into this that I am leaning one way or another.
So it seems there are subs banning people (without warning or chance for appeal) for even talking about the issue of incels. It's treated as taboo a subject as pedophilia, as seen in this post where a mod for some reason conflates the two.
But then you have actual incels who constantly bring up the misdefining of incels. They seem to think their community is just that of people who are involuntarily celibate, and it seems to be on the rise from recent research, adding a reason for a "term" to exist for these kind of people.
So what the heck is going on? Why is there such tension around this? Why do these sides seem to believe completely different defintions, and why is there a disagreement and can you explain both sides of the argument as each side sees it.
I’m a moderately religious person and have a no sex till marriage mindset. I just got out of a four year relationship with a girl of the same faith. I’m trying to get back out there, but the problem with people who practice no sex till marriage is that they get married really early leaving me with a very small dating pool within my faith. That leads me to this girl I’m interested in who isn’t religious at all. Am I leading her on to try and date her since she won’t feel the same as me about premarital sex? I’ve been dumped before for not sleeping with a girl and I don’t really want to put another girl in that situation. I’m extremely lonely after this breakup and I want someone to spend time with and grow to love. And I’m afraid that whole mess in my brain around the breakup is making my thoughts less clear than I would like.
