A list of puns related to "The Butcher's Wife"
She said, "I'm afraid not, the steaks are too high."
We call her, Miss Steak.
He notices the price of the venison and turns to his wife and says "Oh dear dear, dear dear dear."
Me: How did the butcher introduce his wife? Me: Meet Pattie! Dad: Meat my wife Dad: She's a cut above the rest
Here's a link to the text convo:
http://imgur.com/GU30U1Q
What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.
If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.
Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.
I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.
Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.
I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *
Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.
I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.
Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.
Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?
Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.
Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?
Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.
Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.
Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"
I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.
So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.
When you get an infection, urine trouble.
"Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."
How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."
Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.
Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *
What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *
*My absolut
... keep reading on reddit ➡So, on Sunday my wife and I were making stir fry for lunch after church. I chopped up some flank steak and test fried a piece in the wok, pulled it out, cut it in two, and we each tried a piece to see how it tasted (in case it needed more ginger or garlic or oyster sauce). This conversation happened.
My wife: (enjoying the flavor) How do couples where one person is a vegetarian handle meals?
Me: I guess the man has a help meet for him like Adam.
Her: I'm being serious, how do they do it.
Me: I know, right? People get married for lots of carnal knowledge.
Her: (annoyed) All kidding aside, I'm curious how people make that work.
Me: Give me some time to flesh out my argument, and I'm sure I can find a couple that hasn't butchered their relationship.
Meat Patty
Meet Patty!
Meat Patty!
“Meet Patty.”
Meet Pattie
Meat Patty.
“Meat Patty.”
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