In my opinion, beekeepers are the prettiest people in the world.

Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thekuecker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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A man walks into an apiary and asks the beekeeper for a dozen bees.

The beekeeper replies: "Sure, and I'll throw in the 13th as a freebie..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitya04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."

"That's a freebie."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Why did the beekeeper go to the doctor?

He had hives

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.

The seller said, β€œOh, that last one is a freebee!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gothwhopper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Why do beekeepers have the most attractive eyes?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fayette-Phantom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Have you heard about Honeyland, the Oscar-nominated documentary about Macedonian beekeepers?

It has great buzz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndyCircus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I met this super hot beekeeper the other day.

But I guess you could always say, beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherHairyApe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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So, a huge beehive got taken down by the beekeeper yesterday

That's not bee-liveable in the slightest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyrdrink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I'm a beekeeper. My 10yo son just got stung so I told him he's now part of the club.

I asked if it was a good club. "No" he said. "It bites."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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Did you hear about the beekeeper who was allergic to honey?

Yeah...he had the hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeoJesus666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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My beekeeping brother stumbled upon my collection of honeybee legs, screaming "What the hell is this?"

I responded, "It's none of your bee's knees."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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A man goes to a beekeeper and asks for 12 bees. He counts, and sees he has been given 13....

β€œSir, you gave me an extra!” he says. The beekeeper replies β€œOh, that’s a freebie”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MARKHENRY88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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One night, a beekeeper was chilling on his couch with some booze.

"Honey, pass me another can of beer!", the beekeeper bellowed.

His wife went to check the fridge for beer but alas, there was none left.

"Dear, our supplies have run dry!"

The beekeeper then replied, "Sweetie, please pass me the honey can."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrayCon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Honey Story

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fishamaphone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years.

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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So There's A Bee's Nest In The Front Garden

My mum called a beekeeper, who was keen to come and take them away before something bothered the nest. So keen, he set off from 20 miles away at half nine at night. My dad's comment?

"Well of course he's keen, he's got some freebies!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkclone24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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Had a dad joke at work the other day, wanted to share.

Where I work, we have a honeybee hive and sell the honey in our market.

A pair of beekeepers were in the other day to extract some combs and before they left, they asked us (my Hispanic coworkers and myself) if we wanted to see them.

Both of my coworkers exclaimed, "Si, si!" and I promptly chimed in, "No, they aren't c's - they're bees!"

Audibly groans were had, I am ready for fatherhood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crunkle_pat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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What did the cricket captain say to the apiarist?

Do you want to beekeeper?

New to fatherhood, created the joke to commemorate the occasion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merc_89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
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My wife and I have recently taken to trying for a baby, and I think this last attempt may have succeeded. I just dad-joked hard.

We were looking at a Facebook post on bees that had lost their home and taken to a bit of chocolate on the road. The pictures showed the bees then all rushing into a basket a beekeeper had brought containing a honeycomb.

When my wife commented on how they all were so quickly attracted to it, I could not stop myself as I blurted out "Well yeah, they were looking for another place to bee"

Don't think she had ever rolled her eyes so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G2geo94
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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"Dad, I want to keep bees..."

Today I sent my dad a text, proclaiming my desire to start keeping bees when I move into my new house next month. Below is a transcript of our text conversation:

Me: Dad, I want to start beekeeping at the new house.

Dad: I tried that once, but I broke out in hives.

Dad: Must be allergic

Dad: Not sure how to keep bees, but I'm sure we could bumble our way through it.

Dad: Don't know where you get bees so we'll have to comb the area for them.

Me: I thought if I ignored you this would stop.

Me: ...now I'm SKEP-ticle

Dad: Lol! Good one! Now I'm all abuzz with new ideas.

Me: Nope. We are done.

As an aside, my wife is pregnant, and I'm soon going to be a father. Clearly the dad joking begins during the first trimester.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riickroll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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I went to the beekeeper and asked for 12 bees, he gave me 13...

That's a free-bee be said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Everisfunny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. They gave me 13.

The extra one was a free bee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkeezay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I went to the apiary for a dozen bees, and the beekeeper gave me 13.

The last one was a freebie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sbush85
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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