My 5 year old told me this today - Dad, how does a farmer count all his animals in the barn?

With a cowculator!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSnohthathurt
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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The person who invented 'autocorrect' walks into a barn

They order a bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoneWithTheAbuse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2021
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What happened when the barn in Russia burned down

Moscows are dead πŸ’€

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bootyslaya3110
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2021
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Have you heard the story of the old empty barn?

There was nothing in it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FudgeNutsClegg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2021
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Whenever we visited my Grampa's dairy farm, there'd be mud and cowpats everywhere, and my Dad would say, "I love dairy farms! Look at the dairy barn, and the dairy cows, and...

"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"

If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuddenHedgehogs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.

Now I have a stable connection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?

The steaks were too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrunibrowman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Owl jump on the barn-wagon

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Who

... who who?

How did you know I'm an owl! :o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Dad getting back into the house from the barn...

Dad: the cows are really mad because you haven't been returning their calls.

Wife: what?

Dad: they've been trying to re-chew all night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Why did the man work in a barn for hus whole life?

Because is was a stable career

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NDB05_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Why wasn’t the horse interested in breeding in the barn?

He was more hoping for a stable relationship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?

A square dance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadacolt45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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When I went into the barn I saw my father doing a strip tease act in front of our tractor

He explained that he went to a marriage counselor because mom didn't want to be intimate anymore. The counselor told him he should do something sexy to attract her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABitOfALuddite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Did you hear the news? Some outlaws were running from the police, ducked into Farmer Johnson's barn and stashed their dynamite in his grain. One of his cattle got into the grain and ate the dynamite. They were afraid the poor fella was going to blow up.

I think that's abominable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: β€œSee that cow barn over there?”

β€œI didn’t.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingWilliamVI
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Why did the hen lay around in the barn all day?

She was EGGShausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oceans-Stars
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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What’s the name for a horse that is the smartest one in the barn?

A stable genius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PathWalker8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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What do you call when cows escape from the barn?

A mootiny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CustomAtomicDress
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Jacob wasn't able to raise the barn in time for the rainy weather.

Amished opportunity, if you ask me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drawsprocket
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Why did the cow climb on to the roof of the barn?

Because it didn't want to be ground beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Barn owls must have been stocked when the barn was invented. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legat-Beelzebub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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Why did the farmer turn on the radio in his barn every night?

Because the cows like moosic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
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Today at the Dairy I was standing at the cow barn and a woman turned to me and asked, "Do they milk the male cows too." I answered, "only if they are lucky"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CthulhuBread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
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I decorated where my horse sleeps in the barn.

It's pretty stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poohonhead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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My ten-year-old son: Dad, did you hear about the barn party after midnight that was getting out of hand?...

... Finally the sheep yells, stop horsing around, I’m trying to sheep. - Love this kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRipley1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The internet connection in my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The internet connection at my farm was really poor, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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The person who invented 'autocorrect' walks into a barn

He orders a bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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The rancher’s wifi wasn’t working so he moved the router to the barn...

Now he has a stable connection

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaysStays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I had terrible internet connection on my farm till I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 538
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barn collapse?

Because it wasn't stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I was having trouble with my internet connection , so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barn collapse?

Because it wasn't stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call when the cows escape from the barn?

A mootiny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vidakris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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