Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

They just couldn’t budget

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📅︎ Aug 31 2020
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Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He worked it out with a calculator.

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📅︎ Jun 15 2020
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Why did the accountant join a cult?

Because he found their compound interesting.

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📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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I gave my wife a slutty girl accountant for her birthday and she asked me, "What the hell is this?"

"Well...it's the thot that counts."

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👤︎ u/carks
📅︎ Jun 18 2018
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Have you heard about the accountant who was caught stealing money from a honey company?

He was charged with embeezzlement

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👤︎ u/LeBlorqo
📅︎ Nov 29 2018
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Why did the accountant dump his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

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📅︎ Nov 17 2015
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Did you hear about the accountant who hated negative numbers?

...he would stop at nothing to avoid them.

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📅︎ Feb 26 2015
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What game do accountants play on the playground when they were kids?

Deduct, deduct, degooset.

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👤︎ u/Zermie
📅︎ Jul 26 2017
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What did the accountant say to the man who was filing for bankruptcy after using a lot of payday loans?

There is a lot of interest in your credit history.

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👤︎ u/zoolilba
📅︎ Dec 09 2015
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The Hershey Company Accountants

I wonder if they have a report for their separate products, like to show how well their individual items are selling. Maybe like a Heath Ledger

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👤︎ u/Sorkijan
📅︎ Aug 15 2016
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What did the accountant do with his newborn daughter?

Treasurer

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👤︎ u/Kirkauburn
📅︎ Jul 20 2014
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Did I ever tell you about the constipated accountant?

He worked it out with a pencil.

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👤︎ u/MikeLinPA
📅︎ Jun 29 2013
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Did you hear about the constipated accountant ...

He couldn’t budget.

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👤︎ u/cwwspurs
📅︎ Sep 28 2019
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Why was the accountant constipated?

Because he couldn't budget.

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👤︎ u/Zamibe
📅︎ Oct 27 2015
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