I would cheat the Golden Globes. Hell, I would even manipulate the Academy Awards. But I would NEVER
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nyjets4life6
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I got kicked out of the Mime Academy for performing unspeakable acts

Kind of glad they kicked me out because their curriculum made me feel boxed in

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chef_Boiardee11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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I was rejected from the astronaut academy

I guess the sky is my limit

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PossiblyDumb66
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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The pope visited the Naval Academy this weekend...

It's a place of warship.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/purplereindeer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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I'm gonna write a gritty action movie about a mathematician who loses his memory and has to uncover a conspiracy inside the Berlin Academy.

I'll call it: "The Euler Identity"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nman130
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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My sister's boyfriend is going to the Naval Academy in the Fall...

He was telling us all how nervous he was that he wouldn't fit in there, and my dad says, "don't worry, everyone there will be in the same boat."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sparrownowl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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Why did The Weather Girls join the military academy?

They're training men! Hallelujah! They're training men! Amen!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_itnoc_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...

I went to the Navel Academy

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stone_meister
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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My wife insisted she has nudist genes

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/S93C141
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Did you guys hear they're making the Oscars significantly shorter this year?

It's the 90 second Academy Awards.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TenFlyingBricks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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A joke that takes a while to evolve

To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.

Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.

It was ... a FishAnt

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapnFancyPants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Where do oranges go to school?

The Navel Academy

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dreurmimker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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