After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 428
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?

Nunchucks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MKUltraSonic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.

I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."

She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...

That took a lot of balls.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...

Urine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The A team and I just made quiche...

I love it when a flan comes together...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipity_7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
On a video of a custom 2 Fort map that excludes the middle area (Team Fortress 2)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
President Trump just picked a fish to lead the coronavirus response team

He’s the Sturgeon General

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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In this time of crisis I believe it is our duty as a community to make a rapid respons team to help the rest of the world!

We will be known as the rapid respuns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/van_-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knife that joins the track team?

Blade Runner

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theinfinitejaguar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The audition team told me to break a leg

I guess they really wanted me to be in the cast

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rkcorinth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A swat team barges through the front door of a church

The priest says β€œI can’t remember the last time a bunch of men came in here that intensely.... or can I?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WonDante
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If a Minnesota NBA player transfered to the Minnesota NHL team

would he become a Timberwolf in the Wild?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Y'all hear that "The Kool-Aide Man" started a baseball team?

He's the pitcher.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My son plays right field for a little-league team called the Angels

I asked him what it was like in a Disney movie. He didn't get it. So I told him he's literally one of the Angels in the Outfield!

Later I realized maybe I'd insulted him, calling his team a sort of mickey mouse club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm dating a girl who's on the cross-country team, but something doesn't seem right...

I think she's been running around...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ethanfp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A Catholic High School had a legendary American football team. Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily…

Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If traveling is a violation in basketball then shouldn’t the entire visiting team be disqualified?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelnpdx
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A merchant approached the captain of a SWAT team about upgrading their riot shields...

The captain replied, "Finally! A purchase I can get behind!"

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradEmery
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The liquor store has a baseball team

They're not the best, but they'll definitely give you a rum for your money

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geropy86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Management gave no one on the team a bonus this year.

They really did bone us on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The underwater vehicle team turned in a good proposal to NOAA...

The sub-mission submission was excellent!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A team of investigators found the body of a missing person in a frozen lake...

They finally cracked the cold case

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My co-worker just related to me a story about how her high school cross country team used to re-tell the same joke over and over through out the year.

I asked her if it was a running joke...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jofax88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A group I am in have named ourselves team tree and in the spirit of the name we wanted to use as many tree related puns as possible, please help us!

We have the obvious ones like, let's make like a tree and leaf and our group is always branching out, but we would love as many as you can come up with!

Thanks guys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neptune121
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
🚨︎ report
The baseball team were part of a charity event

but right off the bat, you could see that they weren't pitching in.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I once photographed a track team practice for the high school yearbook.

I guess you could call it timed laps photography.

πŸ‘︎ 839
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
🚨︎ report
There should be a movie about a Jamaican curling team that competes in the Olympics.

Call it Curl Runnings

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1esserknown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know... The 'A-Team' van was the world's first electric vehicle?

... we know this because Mr T pities the fuel

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
The Tetley Tea Folk are forming a football team

Rumour has it they'll be great in the cup.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
So a council meeting involving a large sum of employees were under major stress on what to call their restaurant. The team leader was furiously dissatisfied and screamed:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_Keyhan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.

Alas, I'm not a very good poet.

In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
🚨︎ report
The Anaheim hockey team should have a giveaway night where they pass out pucks with their logo on them.

Duck pucks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bathroom_Pninja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Looking for a play on the word Pod for a team name
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricbertymorytinez
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a team of pets that works together to throttle the internet? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unknown9118
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us to a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.

It was the father, son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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