Thankful Thanksgiving Puns

Dad: Hi thankful, I’m dad.

Especially the episode when Joey and Chandler get a duck.

My sister is in the emergency room with second degree burns on her foot from cooking oil, I need puns to make fun of her at thanksgiving.

Be merciless.

Edit: it was great, you're puns were big hits. After each pun I said your username without context, but at the end of dinner someone asked me if I was going insane and I said "no, those are the pun credits" so, in some of your cases it was pretty funny to say out of context.

Thank you all for your entries, they were great!

I was at an old navy with the family, as we were walking in, 5 other people were behind us, so I held the door open. Person one: Thank you Person two: Thank you Person three: Thank you Person four: Thank you Person five: Thank you Me: there's a lot of thanks going on... it's almost like its.... Thanksgiving.

Me - "Would you like to try our Turkey BLT special today?"

Probably a Dad - "No, thank you. I've been addicted to thanksgiving leftovers lately. I've been trying to quit, cold turkey..."

Slow clap.

So a little context: fresh sage is really hard to come by around Thanksgiving. The first grocery store we went to didn't have any so we had to go to another. As we were approaching the second store, there was an armored ATM vehicle out front.

"They've really amped up the security on the sage," I smirk pointing to the ATM van.

With the biggest grin on his face, Dad says, "Guess you could call that (••) , ( ••)>⌐■-■ , (⌐■_■) a sage coach."

Don't know if that was clever enough to share, but there you have it. Thanks for reading!

Going around the table saying our thanks during Thanksgiving when my dad drops,

"I'm tankful of gas in my car."

After Thanksgiving dinner at Walmart looking for plunger

Dad: Where can we get a plunger?

Walmart Employee: Right this way!

Dad: Thank you! We had a big Thanksgiving meal.

Me: shakes head