Texas U Turn Puns

We were driving down a Texas road late at night in my Dads' 72 Pontiac Grand Prix when a bug spalts on the windshield. The kind that makes a thud and leaves a two inch puddle of elongated goo. Without turning his attention from the road my Dad asked:

"You know what the last thing was to go through that bugs mind ?"

Suddenly, expecting some philosophical insight my father had into death I quietly asked "What?"

My Dad takes a drag on his Winston, exhales, and still never looking away from the road says: "His ass."

My dad, my brother and I were talking the other night and we decide to talk about who came from Texas.

Brother: "Oh, I thought that George Bush was from Texas. Turns out he was born in Connecticut."

Me: "Which one?" (asking which George Bush it was)

My dad: "You idiot, there's only one Connecticut"