Tenor C Puns

Tenor twelve feet away from her and all musical instruments at all times.

Solo I can’t hear you, tenor 11 miles down the road.

You're tenor-izing meat.

......solo they can't hear me.

Coincidentally, they also ask me to sing tenor.

.....tenor twelve miles away.

They couldn't afford a tenor.

I told him about a tenor so.

... Tenor fifteen miles away. Zing.

Out of 20 I’d say my singing level is like a tenor eleven.

Now that the Tenors had left, everyone has been pretty SAB lately.

At a rehearsal for my choir, the director made some last minute changes to the standing arrangements. For a couple songs, we wouldn't be standing in the usual Soprano Alto Tenor Bass formation, but we'd we standing in a way that we were surrounded by people of different sections. As you can imagine, shifting around 4 rows of risers is a bit hectic, so I asked my friend where exactly I had to go.

He told me, "As long as you're mixed, it's okay."

A wave of dark intentions washed over my brain.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "But I'm Chinese".

It took him a full two seconds to register what I just said.

What in the actual fuck is happening to me right now?

Dad: What group was this guy in again?

Me: The Three Tenors.

Dad: Do you know how much they used to get paid?

Me: (Groan) How much?

Dad: Thirty quid.

He says, "You know...before you can learn to sing tenor, you first have to learn to sing niner..."

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

"Can you sing tenor? Ten or twelve miles away?"

"Can you sing solo? So low we can't hear you?"

Every.single.time.

We are sitting at the dinner table after church. My sister says, "man, the choir director had me singing low today. I know I was singing lower than the tenors."

My dad without missing a beat, "Hmm. You must have been singing a niner."

I think I choked on my food from that one.

After I finished singing in my college choir for our spring concert yesterday, my dad told me, "Good job! You know, when I was your age, they once asked me to join the choir to sing tenor. 10 or 12 miles away!"

Tenor twelve feet away from every musical instrument for all time.

Tenor twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.

Tenor 15 miles away from here