Tell Story Puns

Actually, its pretty self ex-planetory

He threw himself over after suffering from a severe eggistential crisis.

So bear with me here for a moment. (first post btw)

It's really a joke, but we'll call it a story, for all in tents and porpoises.

But then I noticed that they're too old for ferry tales.

"Why can't you write with an unsharpened pencil?

Because there's no point!"

I asked it to tell me another dad joke, and in typical dad joke fashion:

"Why can't you write with an unsharpened pencil?

Because there's no point!"

If it doesn’t sound true then it’s a croc.

I pulled a mussel.

My dad: Leaf me alone.

Sorry, I'll see myself out.

Once a punnet time....

There's a lot to unpack

But it's just a running joke among friends

It's old butt gold.

The bartender interrupted him and said, "Hey can you make this brief?"

"Once a pawn a time..."

I look over, and he's reaching into his pocket and pulls out a little vial, and shakes it out all over me. He hands me this vial and he's made a shitty label around it, and he wrote on this fricken label, "Directions: Add in salt to injury".

He's a legend among my friends dads.

It's too bad I couldnt find a good plot

I could only come up with ones about our anbrothers.

I had been keeping it under wraps

It's a first-hand account of your secondhand third hand.

I asked her if it was a running joke...

But I think it It Israel

In high school my very best friend and I snuck out and went looking for fun. We were really fired up and he hurried ahead and ran straight into the nearest bar. Luckily, I had the good sense to duck.

It's a Saab story

No clucks given.

I start with just having a normal conversation like normal people do while I wait for an opportune time to slip in this story of mine.

The Story:

Did you hear about that kid on the bridge with the brick about a year ago? Yeah, this kid was apparently on an overpass for I-95 (nearby interstate. Locality makes it believable.) with a brick tied to a rope. He just sat there swinging it at passing cars, breaking their windshields just for a laugh. Eventually, the brick got caught in one and didn't come back out like it usually did. Instead, this time, the rope got wrapped around his arm and the sudden yank pulled his arm clean off. The driver tried to sue, but got nowhere because it was a kid. However, the driver was arrested for armed robbery.

Gets groans every time.

But there was no point!