Iā€™m like a cow in tall grass,

Iā€™m utterly tickled to be here.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Kentfanatic
šŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?

Bamboozled!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/iiooiooi
šŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...

It was a diamond in the rough.

Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
šŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What do you call it when you get high in a patch of tall grass?

A Field Trip

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I just got my cow to cut all the tall grass in my field.

What a great lawn moo-er!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Brawl_nOyOu
šŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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You guys, Iā€™m a dad and I have to say it.... I feel like a cow walking through tall grass

Iā€™m udderly tickled to be here!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/go_see_a_shrink
šŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/madazzahatter
šŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/kachow--
šŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Moses and the Pharaoh

A long, long time ago in Egypt the Israelites were held as slaves. One day the evil Pharaoh passed a decree that no Israelite could cut the grass outside their house.

The grass grew and grew, covering the houses and making it quite an ordeal for the Israelites to go to work in the morning, which put a bit of a strain on the old pyramid building that was all the rage at the time. But Pharaoh didn't care and the edict still stood. No Israelite could cut the grass outside their home.

Eventually the elders had had enough and called upon Moses, who had a bit of a rapport with Pharaoh, being brought up together and all that jazz.

"Moses, you must convince Pharaoh to see sense and let us remove the grass from outside our homes!" they implored.

Moses nodded, picked up his staff and sought an audience with Pharaoh.

In the royal chambers, Moses approached Pharaoh. "Yes, Moses? How can I help?" asked Pharaoh.

Moses stood tall, stared deep into Pharaoh's eyes, raised his staff aloft, cleared his throat and with a booming voice said, "Pharaoh! Let my people mow!"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/grubbymitts
šŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Why I don't follow golf

Me: "Ooo, the ball just landed in the tall grass."

DH: "Awww, that's rough."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/AssassinChicken
šŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2017
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