Talisay, Batangas Puns

Good Day!

I’m currently looking for someone who’s able to pay our RPT in Talisay Batangas Municipal Hall.

Qualifications:

• Literate in Paying RPT.
• Must have two valid IDs (preferably both showing your address for our security).
• Willing to attend a Zoom Meeting (for verification purposes).
• Must be willing to sign a short-term contract agreement (only for this transaction for our security).
• Must be walking/driving distance to Talisay Batangas’s Municipal Hall.
• Able to pay a Real Estate Tax without guidance.
• Able to talk realtime in Messenger.
• Able to scan and send the receipt through email.
• Able to send receipt in LBC.
• Has GCASH
• (Optional) Willing to be an Annual Contact.
• Your pay would be Php 500 pesos sent upon sending LBC’s reference number.

Please reply or hit me up with a message.

https://preview.redd.it/8fsluo79o0b81.png?width=1961&format=png&auto=webp&s=74e2dfa74b433cd1363e9e788af6bf4e6a2c94d2

CALABARZON (given per district are area in square kilometers and 2020 populations)

BATANGAS (12 districts)

1. Lian, Nasugbu, Tuy (459.73 / 239,323)

2. Balayan, Calaca, Calatagan (325.56 / 241,993)

3. Agoncillo, Laurel, Lemery, San Nicolas, Taal (252.18 / 260,865)

4. Talisay, Tanauan City (177.65 / 240,174)

5. Sto. Tomas City (92.31 / 218,500)

6. Balete, Lipa City west (Bagong Pook, Banaybanay, Barangay 12, Bugtong na Pulo, Bulacnin, Bulaklakan, Duhatan, Halang, Inosloban, Lodlod, Pangao, Pinagtongulan, Plaridel, Pusil, San Carlos, San Lucas, San Salvador, Sico, Tambo, Tanguay, Tibig), Malvar, Mataasnakahoy (149.11 / 249,495)

7. Lipa City east (Adya, Anilao, Anilao-Labac, Antipolo Del Norte, Antipolo Del Sur, Balintawak, Bolbok, Calamias, Cumba, Dagatan, Kayumanggi, Latag, Lumbang, Mabini, Malagonlong, Malitlit, Marauoy, Mataas Na Lupa, Munting Pulo, Pagolingin Bata, Pagolingin East, Pagolingin West, Pinagkawitan, Poblacion Barangay 1, Poblacion Barangay 10, Poblacion Barangay 11, Poblacion Barangay 2, Poblacion Barangay 3, Poblacion Barangay 4, Poblacion Barangay 5, Poblacion Barangay 6, Poblacion Barangay 7, Poblacion Barangay 8, Poblacion Barangay 9, Poblacion Barangay 9-A, Quezon, Rizal, Sabang, Sampaguita, San Benito, San Celestino, San Francisco, San Guillermo, San Jose, San Sebastian, Santo Niño, Santo Toribio, Sapac, Talisay, Tangob, Tipacan) (130.37 / 242,491)

8. Alitagtag, Cuenca, Ibaan, San Jose, Sta. Teresita (206.88 / 222,988)

9. Bauan, Mabini, San Luis, San Pascual, Tingloy (205.34 / 266,073)

10. Batangas City northwest (those barangays not part of 12th district) (72.98 / 253,619)

11. Padre Garcia, Rosario, Taysan (342.71 / 220,351)

12. Batangas City south (Bilogo, Catandala, Conde Itaas, Conde Labak, Dela Paz, Dela Paz Pulot Aplaya, Dela Paz Pulot Itaas, Domoclay, Haligue Kanluran, Haligue Silangan, Ilihan, Kumba, Liponpon Isla Verde, Maapas, Mabacong, Mahabang Dahilig, Mahacot Kanluran, Mahacot Silangan, Malalim, Malibayo, Maruclap, Pagkilatan, Paharang Kanluran, Paharang Silangan, Pinamucan, Pinamucan Ibaba, Pinamucan Silangan, San Agapito Isla Verde, San Agustin Kanluran Isla Verde, San Agustin Silangan Isla Verde, San Andres Isla Verde, San Antonio Isla Verde, San Isidro, San Jose Sico, San Miguel, Santo Domingo, Santo Niño, Simlong, Sirang Lupa, Tabangao Ambulong, Tabangao Aplaya, Tabangao Dao

^^^^last ^^^^edited ^^^^16 ^^^^March ^^^^2020 ^^^^8:30 ^^^^PM ^^^^ #UPDATE: COMMENT SECTION IS NOW UNLOCKED

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"Strict home quarantine will be implemented in all households, transportation will be suspended, provision for food and essential health services will be regulated and the presence of uniformed personnel to enforce quarantine procedures will be heightened" GMA News We will be monitoring the announcement as it comes out, so far it's all a bit of a confused mess in the Executive

WHO officially declares coronavirus a global pandemic

There are now an additional 29 cases for 15 March bringing total of 140 cases as of 5:00 PM GMA News

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There are now twelve (12) COVID-19 deaths in the Philippines - GMA News 15 March 2020

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Metro Manila to implement curfew from 8 pm to 5 am starting 15 March Rappler

~~Confused about the guidelines of the Metro Manila Community Quarantine? [Click here for the things you need to know right now](https://news.abs-cbn.com/news/03

> 📉 5.5 Mww, registered by 5 agencies, 2021-09-26 17:12:07 UTC (gibbous moon), Talisay, Philippines (13.93, 120.54), ↓55 km likely felt 150 km away (in San Pascual, Bauan, San Pedro, Santa Rosa…) by 20.8 million people (quakesearch.geonet.org.nz)

^2021-09-26T18:05:36Z

> 🌖 Lindol! Earthquake! 4.5 Mb, registered by NEIC, 2021-09-26 17:40:51 UTC (gibbous moon), Balayan, Philippines (13.9, 120.76) likely felt 100 km away (in Calaca, Batangas City, Balayan, Dasmariñas…) by 15.7 million people (www.seismicportal.eu)

^2021-09-26T17:56:06Z

> 📈 6.1 Mww, registered by 4 agencies, 2021-09-26 17:12:07 UTC (gibbous moon), Talisay, Philippines (13.93, 120.54), ↓50 km likely felt 210 km away (in San Pascual, Bauan, San Pedro, Santa Rosa…) by 20.8 million people (quakesearch.geonet.org.nz)

^2021-09-26T17:32:28Z

> 📈 5.5 M, registered by EMSC,alomax, 2021-09-26 17:12:07 UTC (gibbous moon), Lucsuhin, Philippines (13.88, 120.65) ± 3 km, ↓30 km likely felt 150 km away (in San Pascual, San Jose, Bauan, Carmona…) by 23.3 million people (www.seismicportal.eu)

^2021-09-26T17:23:02Z

> 🏠 Lindol! Earthquake! 5.2 Mb, registered by alomax, 2021-09-26 17:12:05 UTC (gibbous moon), Calaca, Philippines (13.88, 120.78) ± 20 km, ↓47 km likely felt 120 km away (in San Pascual, San Jose, Bauan, San Pedro…) by 22.9 million people (alomax.free.fr)

^2021-09-26T17:21:16Z

> ❗ LINDOL BABALA / EARTHQUAKE WARNING for Mindoro, Philippines (just felt near San Pascual?) — Follow for updates (Twitter)

^2021-09-26T17:13:07Z

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.