A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
"Your kid in me."
What do you call it when a British person takes a good long look at something?
A propaganda
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
What does a blind person take to look stronger?
Stare roids
A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"
GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"
GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"
A guy walks into a doctor office wearing nothing but underwear made of clear plastic wrap. The doctor takes one look at him and says...
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
Sometimes when I stop and take a look back at my daughter...
... I realize I've gone too fast.
You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success
there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
My wife told me a cheese factory not that far from our house burnt down to the ground. I went to take a look to see it with my own eyes and she was right..
..all that was left was de brie.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "aww, honey look at the sheep." I relied...
No, ewe.
Take a look at the new apple car, they apologize for not using windows... imgur.com/X7Dg1yN
Doctor: Here's your x-ray. Me : I look ugly in this one. Please delete this take one more .
If Edward Snowden ever gets a family, I wonder how long it would take him to look out at a winter day and say 'Looks like we're all Snowed In!'
My mom said her phone froze and asked my dad to take a look at it...
He picked it up and said "Doesn't feel cold"
Why did the Scandinavians take so long to look like minerals?
Because... Gneiss guise Finnish last
A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the eyes and says:
Your Kid in Me
