Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I told her she should probably take it for a spin first.
I said, "You're right! I should take it out for a spin first."
First you should take it out for a spin.
"What is it?" she asked.
"It's our son," I replied. "He vomited all over the seats of your new car."
She shouted, "Well, why the hell did he do that? It's your fault!"
"It's your fault," I insisted. "You said I should take him out for a spin in it."
He decided to take it out for a spin
The kids were asleep and I just finished tuning up my wife's bike. "Take it for a spin" I said.
She hops on and says "I haven't ridden my bike since last summer!"
"You'll be fine!" I said. "It's like riding a bike."
I turn to my neighbour who was within ear-shot and he nods with a smirk of approval.
So this past month my grandfather taught me how to make spinning wooden tops, and sent me home to come up with designs for them. This week I came up with some cool designs and I decided to show them to my parents tonight.
My dad had this to say:
Dad (looking at the tops): You know you are going to have to take these with you everywhere, right?
Me: why?
Dad: Because no daughter of mine is going to be going around topless.
I am going to take it for a spin later.
