Tailor Store Puns

He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”

My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!

1. I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
2. I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
3. I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
4. I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
5. I lost my job as a maze designed. I got lost in my work.
6. I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
7. I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
8. I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
9. I lost my job as an astronomer. I thought my work was looking up!
10. I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
11. I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
12. I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
13. I lost my job as a math teacher, same job I’ve had since 2000. That’s 46 years down the drain!
14. I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
15. I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
16. I lost my job as a baker. I really kneaded the dough!
17. I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
18. I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
19. I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
20. I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
21. I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
22. I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
23. I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
24. I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
25. I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
26. I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
27. I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
28. I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
29. I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
30. I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
31. I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
32. I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
33. I lost my job at Dunkin. It’s ok, I was fed up wit

So far I’ve got:

Sandwich co (you can’t beat our meat) IT company (if you’ve got a Trojan we can help) Laundry service (dont press your luck) Organic shop (all we do is pot, and pull hoes) or (getting down and dirty with your hoes) Pet groomers (send your dog to pound town) Transport and travel [by plane] (we’ll get you high) Financial planner (saving lives, with your life savings) Bakery (fresh perky muffins in the front, soft buns in the back) Coffee shop (Mugging you at every corner)

Still looking for raunchy puns and double entendres for:

A Podcast/ music studio A Personal chef A Tour and travel agency A Health care company A Record studio A Game developer A Copyrighting co A Tailor A Garage/bike repair company A Clothing/hat maker A Personal trainer A Truck sharing (moving co) An Architecture bureau or real estate co An Illustrator A Pest control company A Wedding planner A Fishing and charter tour company A Liquor store

Help me out.

He puts them on the counter of the store and the tailor looks at them.

"Euripedes?" he asks.

"Yes," says the man. "Eumenides?"