Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
https://preview.redd.it/xzc5awxhpef61.png?width=920&format=png&auto=webp&s=25946a09564f77a7d3cd4bfb1968729af36de0c5
Earn five points per question-up to 50 points total-when you answer correctly.
List ordered in Alphabetical order A,B,C.
- Andy Warhol Bridge - Jun 17, 1926
- Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge - Jul 16, 2005
- Ashland Covered Bridge - 1860
- Astoria–Megler Bridge - Jul 29, 1966
- Atchafalaya Basin Bridge - 1973
- BP Pedestrian Bridge - Jul 16, 2004
- Bear Mountain Bridge - 1924
- Benjamin Franklin Bridge - Jul 01, 1926
- Betsy Ross Bridge - 1976
- Bixby Creek Bridge - Nov 27, 1932
- Brent Spence Bridge - Nov 25, 1963
- Brooklyn Bridge - May 24, 1883
- Chain of Rocks Bridge - 1929
- Charlestown High Bridge - 1954
- Chesapeake Bay Bridge–Tunnel - Apr 15, 1964
- Clay Wade Bailey Bridge - Oct 1974
- Commodore Barry Bridge - Feb 01, 1974
- Corpus Christi Harbor Bridge - 1959
- Crescent City Connection - Apr 1958
- Deception Pass Bridge - July 31, 1935
- Delaware Memorial Bridge - Aug 15, 1951
- DuSable Bridge - May 14, 1920
- Eads Bridge - 1874
- Edmund Pettus Bridge - May 25, 1940
- Evergreen Point Floating Bridge - August 28, 1963
- Foresthill Bridge - 1973
- Fort Wadsworth - 1663
- Forth Bridge - Mar 04, 1890
- Fred Hartman Bridge - Sep 27, 1995
- Frederick W. Panhorst Bridge - 1940
- Gandy Bridge - 1924
- George Rogers Clark Memorial Bridge - Oct 31, 1929
- George Washington Bridge - Oct 24, 1931
- Glen Canyon Dam Bridge - 1959
- Goethals Bridge - Jun 29, 1928
- Golden Gate Bridge - May 27, 1937
- Gramercy Bridge - 1985
- Grand Canyon Skywal - Mar 28, 2007
- Hale Boggs Memorial Bridge - Oct 06, 1983
- Hampton Roads Bridge–Tunnel - Nov 01, 1957
- Hartland Bridge - May 13, 1901
- Henry Hudson Bridge - Dec 12, 1936
- Hernando de Soto Bridge - August 02, 1973
- Hood Canal Bridge - Aug 12, 1961
- Horace Wilkinson Bridge - Apr 10, 1968
- Hot Metal Bridge - 1887
- Howard Frankland Bridge - 1960
- Huey P. Long Bridge - Aug 1940
- I-10 Twin Span Bridge - Jul 09, 2009
- I-35W Mississippi River bridge - Nov 1967
- John A. Roebling Suspension Bridge - Dec 1, 1866
- John James Audubon Bridge - May 05, 2011
- Kinz
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
A happy Uncle.....
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
I’d never seen him be 4.
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
"No, it doesn't."
