ETA: I do not give consent for the content of this post to be used elsewhere
So, it’s T-Rex’s birthday soon. I always remember but for the last two years I have not reminded FH. His mum, his job to remember.
When we were all on better terms we went through this birthday and Christmas performance every year where FH had to buy a present and card, I had to buy one, and then we were expected to buy one together. Buying presents for FH is immensely stressful - he never knows what to get anyone, he finds it confronting and he feels the card is the most important part which he spends a long time on. He also then has to post everything by a set date for it to get there in time etc etc.
After the Christmas from hell blow up a few years ago (it’s on bitchbot), I put my foot down. No more agonising over this for special events. Aside from Mother’s Day she now gets flowers delivered on her birthday and Christmas from us both. That’s it. Mother’s Day she gets flowers just from him. No deviation from this is allowed.
I’m sitting here now picking the flowers for her 2018 birthday from the website with him. It has not escaped my notice we are both looking for the cheapest options....
We will see her face to face at Christmas this year for the first time since the rule came into play. FH asked what we would get her. I said flowers from us both....I look forward to the CBFs for days.
ETA: I do not give consent for the content of this post to be used elsewhere
As I posted last time, we now send T-Rex flowers on her birthday with a “happy birthday, love us” florist card included. Minimal effort for us but it is generally enough to stop any whining or meltdowns. FH used to give cards for all occasions and he would put hours of thought into them but he stopped recently. From memory he didn’t send one for Mother’s Day either this year but I’m not sure on that.
Her birthday is today and I arranged for the flowers to be delivered two days ago so we avoided any YOU FORGOT ME YOU AWFUL SON interactions for FH.
Saturday comes along...and passes by...with no message from her. Hmmm. Maybe the florist stuffed up the delivery? I check and they confirm it was delivered. Maybe she’s away? I get one of the just yes aunties to do some investigating and nope, she’s apparently still in hometown.
I express to FH my concern that she’s playing games again, as in she’s waiting for him to reach out on her birthday about the flowers before she says anything to him. He thinks I’m a bit paranoid....but then adds how truly fed up he is with “all of this shit”. At that point I decide that I really, really hope I am wrong and that she’s not playing games - for his sake.
The day of her birthday - today - rolls around. FH goes to work (his phone has to be off) for the day and I’m at home chilling as I’m still recovering from abdominal surgery. While I am home, JYaunt messages me to say T-Rex is definitely at home as she’s indicated such on facebook. Now I’m starting to get irritated. I check with the florist again just to be sure - yep, they definitely delivered them to that address. FH comes home from work and decides he might call her. I didn’t say anything against it at the time, as he was obviously pissed off, but I REALLY wanted to point out she was pretty clearly playing a game at this stage and this was feeding into it...but hey, not my circus not my monkeys.
In the end he texted her “happy birthday!” and got back a very terse “Cheers, received flowers thanks.” Notice what’s missing from that? No thanks for the card. Lol. I said as much too him and his exact words were “look at all the fucks I give”. This does not bode well for Christmas though.
Hey T-Rex....Play bitch games, with bitch prizes.
ETA: I do not give consent for the content of this post to be used elsewhere
After the not so successful interstate visit to our new home, our next time seeing T-Rex was scheduled to be at her big number birthday a few months later. We were flying in for it. My nephews birthday was the same weekend so we were going to his party (10am) before her party, which didn’t start until 5pm. Flying over for two nights cost us a lot of money (about $3000) so being able to see both families was a big bonus.
Leading up to the visit, conversations between her and Future DF had been short and stilted. She was obviously waiting for an apology about the home visit and he was giving her nothing. The night we flew in it was late and it was also the actual date of her birthday. Future DF had sent her a card and was going to see her the next day, so he didn’t think to text happy birthday. As we landed her texts started - she had worked herself up into a real state. Just when i had it calmed down via text, she asked us what time she would see us in the morning. We reminded her about nephews birthday (she had been told at least 20 times before this) and she lost it all over again.
Needless to say, neither of us were looking forward to her party very much.
We arrived a few hours early to help set up. She wouldn’t make eye contact and was very short. Future DFs JYaunt asked him what had happened as she had been talking shit about him all day. He started to simmer at that point. His childhood friend arrived then to collect something off him. This had been arranged beforehand and T-Rex had known friend for 20+ years. T-Rex greeted him at the door with “why are you here?”. He was shocked. She let him in but told him he couldn’t stay as Future DF was busy. I watched Future DF move from a simmer to a low boil. As more people arrived he drank some beer and seemed to calm down. He introduced me to family friends and many picked up straight away that T-Rex was not happy with me so they took extra good care of me, making sure I was never awkwardly alone. Meanwhile Future DF caught up with people and quickly realised the bad mouthing had been very widespread. As the cake/speech part came closer, T-Rex started hinting about Future DF making a speech. Putting aside the fact he would NEVER EVER DO THIS as it’s just not him, I quickly realised he was past a low boil and absolutely raging on the inside. After her hints were ignored she sent JYaunt to make sure he was going to make a speec
... keep reading on reddit ➡
