I read a story that a kid crashed a small airplane and survived.

Why don't we make the whole plane out of that kid?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ribdunge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My dad's response every time ....

When I was a kid, if I got sick or hurt, and would tell my dad "my stomach hurts", he'd respond with "how's your face feel?" I'd of course say it felt fine, that's not what hurts. He replies, "well, it's killing me!" I want to hear from other people that survived the torture; what are some quotes of your dad you'll never forget?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FussBuss
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
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My wife is making dadjokes. I guess I'm... mom?

I was holding my month-old son after dinner and he kept ripping ass (seriously, this kid farts so loudly I get blamed for it). My wife comes up behind me and asks, "so, are you surviving his... ass-ault?" and gives me this shit-eating grin. I groaned, the baby farted, I changed his diaper (as is my duty.. heh heh... duty).

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sporktrooper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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