I told my son that the Super Bowl is next week. He said, "Cool! I wanna watch!"

I said, "Why? You're cell phone tells time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redhot_ginga
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My dad asked me which Super Bowl commercial I liked better, the Doritos one or the Mountain Dew one.

I told him, "It's a tie, dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonnaPinciotti420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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6 years ago today on my birthday. The Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowls, both on February 3rd. All a Baltimore boy would like for his cake day is some purple fever! I believe #20 intercepted Colin's ball hence "Ed Reads". I crack myself up.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/717to321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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My pops and I watched the super bowl commercials together…

We skip most of the football due to the annoying announcers, confusing rules and frequent replay delays, but I was able to come up with an answer when he asked what happens when both teams fail to score in OT. It’s a tie, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carltodw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!

It was a super bowl!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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It is 02/02/2020 so if you're into palindromes...

I guess this is your Super Bowl or something

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtrainacomin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Got my friend good yesterday

She was talking about having guacamole for the super bowl and we were talking about going to trader joe's.

Me: Trader Joe's has some pretty good guac that we could pick up.

Her: No way, I make my own. I'm in search of perfection.

Me: So you not only talk the talk, you also guac the guac?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakeonaplane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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Can someone please tell me where I can buy a set of tectonic plates for my dinnerware set?

I think they would make a great addition to my world cups and super bowls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmitchelld
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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In two more years

In two more years the Super Bowl will be LIV, not recorded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shran_MD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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Where does Clark Kent put his breakfast?

In a super bowl

^^^^^^yaaaaay...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix136
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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My dad came home with patriots balloons today...

When I asked him why he bought them a week early, he looks at me and says it's because by the time the Super Bowl comes around, "they'll be DEFLATED."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doses_of_mimosas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
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Cheese Grater

So my sisters boyfriend is grating cheese for a super bowl dip. He looks up and says, "I'm the gratest."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jake261
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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Andre Ware

Last night I got my wife to giggle just a bit with this one. We were watching the Super Bowl and I noted that

They should really be aware of where Ware is at all times. He can wear out an offensive line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theeclat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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I'm the only one not eating the homemade Guacamole

Super Bowl party. Lots of snacks. My daughter made guacamole, and everyone loves it ... Except me.

I'm not really a Guac kind of guy. It's not in my DNA. "But it is in my RNA."

Head scratching and groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2016
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Regarding the Super Bowl's Roman Numerals

Me: Is the next Super Bowl just going to be "L"? Cause that doesn't sound as cool as XLIX. It needs lots of Xs.

Dad: Maybe it'll be XxV, get it? Like X times V.

Me: Uh-huh. Wait, did the Romans even know how to multiply?

Dad: Of course they did, that's why there were so many of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tornato7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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Every time a person speeds past him...

Car speeds past my dad

Dad - That guy must be taking the Browns to the super bowl!

Me - facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hwagon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
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It's the Chinese Super Bowl !

Super Bowl LI

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quietdesolation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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