Sunrise Captions Puns

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Gilip, Capital city of Demonia;

33rd of Anael, First month of Snow;

2109 years since the new gods came.

9am, Magistrates Office

Maxwell sat in a well appointed waiting room, waiting for the Magistrates assistant to come out from the inner office. The candelabras were unlit, and the morning sun was doing a fine job of illuminating the room. The plush carpet was indeed a work of beauty, showing a stylized sunrise in red, blue, and gold.

While he waited, he went over in his mind the questions he would ask. 1) When did Demonia add his face to their coins? 2) Why did Demonia add his face to the coins? 3) Would they remove his face from the coins?

He waited for what seemed like an eternity in the comfortable chair, until he heard the muted sound of shattering glass from the inner room. As he stood up to head towards the sound, the assistant came out, looking more than a little distraught. “I'm sorry, sir, but the Magistrate is unable to take your meeting due to him having just jumped out his window, and running down the street.”

“Okay?” Was all Maxwell could come up with as a response.

“If you could kindly leave a calling card, I can have him get back to you when he returns?”

“Certainly.” Maxwell removed an old calling card from his jacket, wrote his current contact location on the back and handed it to her. “Here you go. I do hope he will be okay.”

“I'm sure he will be fine in a few days.” The assistant said, smiling nervously.

Maxwell walked out of the Magistrate building, whistling an old tune, and turned up the broad street towards the Council Building.

*-*-*

Approximately 10 am, Council Building

“Oh goddess and all the hells, he is here! He was just in my office!” An extremely panicked Magistrate Ilgrid was yelling, having just charged in on the councils meeting.

“Magistrate Ilgrid, if you don't want to loose your position, I suggest you restrain yourself immediately, and depart this chamber!” Councilman Wright said, voice only raised a small amount.

“Councilors, I don't think you understand!” Ilgrid said, voice still overly loud, as sweat seeped from his face, “The HERETIC WAS IN MY

Background

I previously posted pictures of the Epix Gen 2 Sapphire and Fenix 7X Sapphire Solar during a bike ride under direct sunlight (afternoon in Boise, Idaho) with the watches in an off-angle viewing position (on bike handlebars). The transreflective MIP display of the Fenix was superior to the AMOLED display of the Epix in those conditions because the readability of the Epix was compromised to the point that you had to raise the Epix to your face, which is not ideal while biking and results in the display running at 100% brightness (high battery drain) while the Fenix requires no additional brightness in direct sunlight. CLICK HERE for yesterday's post.

Today's Run

I went for a morning run today (26° F, run 8:32 AM, sunlight at an angle due to 8:11 AM sunrise) and took pictures of the watches in several scenarios (details are explained in the pictures and Imgur captions). CLICK HERE for today's photos. The Epix continues to excel in shaded and indoor conditions due to the color and contrast of the AMOLED display technology. The Fenix is best in direct sunlight conditions (see yesterday's post) but today's off-angle sunlight photos show that the Fenix and Epix are more or less equal in terms of readability, with Epix having a clear advantage in color/contrast. In other words, I had no issues reading either screen during the run but the Epix was more colorful.

Up Next

I want to test maps under direct sunlight (mid-day) during a hike or a round of golf, where I will use touch input to move the map around, select waypoints, zoom into a sand bunker for distance, etc. This should answer two questions:

(1) The mapping experience on the Epix is excellent under ideal conditions. How does that experience change under what is perceived to be non-ideal conditions (i.e. direct sunlight) for the Epix?

(2) The transreflective MIP display of the Fenix excels in direct sunlight. Will ideal conditions for the Fniex make it's mapping experience comparable to that of the Epix?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

This isn't a hate post, genuinely this game has some issues that need to be fixed and I figured maybe we could come together and give Steel Wool an idea of what needs the most attention, possible solutions, etc.

Also I think it's fun to discuss. Please feel free to reply with more suggestions.

First, the good stuff so you know I am not 100% made of spite (only 75%)

• I absolutely adore the design of the Pizzaplex, every area not only feels real but is also full of details and easter eggs. I genuinely wish they'd make it a VR chat lobby or something so people could just run around in it and hang out.
• The humor is still on point, still feels very 'FNaF'
• Graphics are great
• The glamrock animatronics look cool
• Afton's corpse looks much better (Sorry Scott, you never did get the hang of modeling people)
• The endoskeleton bit is a great concept and very fun
• MUSIC MAN
• There was clearly a lot of love and care put into all the little details and easter eggs that truly do feel like a love letter to the fans
• The animatronics change and get more withered as the night goes on

Now the rest.

As much as I love the design of the building, it's not very intuitive for gameplay.

1. It's hard to figure out where to go and how to get there. ("Go to the Roxy Raceway" Okay...how? Where is that? How do I get there? And where do I go once I get there? What am I trying to do again?? I'm lost-)
2. You're given maps but they do not help (not clearly labeled, bad map design, plus they're usually given to you AFTER you've explored the area, not before.)
3. The layout does not give the player a clear sense of direction, leading to people getting lost in confined spaces. Often there are too many enemies to avoid/blocking your path, which makes it hard to focus on where you need to go or where you have already been. Panic gets you turned around, so we need to have some kind of indication of "HEY! GO THIS WAY, IDIOT!" (For example, instead of having exit signs over every single door EXCEPT the one you need to go through in the laundry room, have a light over/near/shining on the door you DO need to go through)

Scariness factor: 0

1. I know I praised the humor, but it really does dampen any tension that the game was trying to build, which is weird cause the other games also had jokes and I still thought they were decently scary, especially when they were still new.
2. Heavy reliance on jump scares. "But it's a FNaF game-" NOT AN EXCUSE. The jump scares

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Hello everyone, welcome to Day 1 of the r/indieheads Album of the Year Write-up Series, our annual event where we showcase pieces from some of our favorite writers on the subreddit talking about their favorite records of the year! As always, we'll be running the entirety of December with one new writeup a day from a different r/indieheads user each day! (NOTE: This is not a ranked series by any means, this is just the order people signed up for.) Up today, we're starting with series co-runner u/roseisonlineagain talking The Armed's wild new crossover record ULTRAPOP!

April 16th, 2021 - Sargent House

Listen:

Bandcamp

Apple Music

Spotify

Background:

The Armed are a Detroit hardcore collective. Their first record, These Are Lights, dates back to 2009 and is a bit harder to find any details on. Their untitled followup LP came in 2015 with an even stronger lineup behind them, boasting their first Kurt Ballou-recruited drummer, Nick Yacyshyn of Sumac. The record squared away many of the band’s more eclectic tendencies for some good old-fashioned hardcore punk rock, serving in equal parts as a prelude to the more daring follow-ups to come as well as its own heavier piece of work. Three years later, the band presented Only Love, this time getting Kurt Ballou to recruit Converge’s own Ben Koller. This record introduced many of the elements the band have come to be known for now, including the wide palette of vocal talents brought in for each record, frenzied, blast-beat driven rhythms, and the kind of sugar-coated synth textures that wouldn’t feel too out of place in a chiptune record. All of this meshed on top of the band’s normal base of maxed out wall of guitars presents its own unique sound, which the band finally came to present in its purest form with their followup. In 2019, the band signed with the label Sargent House, and in 2021, they finally released their fourth record, ULTRAPOP (drumming duties split between Ben Koller and Urian Hackney, of Rough Francis and touring drums for Converge). As far as I’m aware, they’re a pretty normal band.

Writeup by u/roseisonlineagain:

Part I: ULTRAPOP

We could sit here and talk all day about The

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

He lost May

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.