Sunny D Puns

It made a good ad visor.

Rüdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "Rüdoff det røde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, Rüdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but Rüdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

Rüdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

Because its either sunni or shi'ite

He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.

He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

A trucker came into  a Truck Stop Café and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said.  "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"

"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

Sunni side up.

Sunni LaBeouf

Wife: "It's sunny outside"

Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."

The Sunni Playstation

To get to the sunny side.

We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.

We were having a conversation with our family about cooking, and my dad just casually said to my sister (who’s birthday it is tomorrow:) Hey how do you like your eggs?

Sis: well if you’re talking about breakfast I like them sunny side up! Dad: Oh, well I like them in cake.

I instantly cracked up, and everyone else took a minute. It must be because I’m in culinary school.
I love you dad.

Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.

Waitress: Hiya hon’, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?

Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!

Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well? . . . . . .

Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.

and what I tell them is to turn that frown SUNNY SIDE UPside down.

Son: how will this make me feel better?

Dad: They'll make you be sunny side up!

Son: but these are scrambled

Sunni and Shia

I know what you're thinking, "Oman, that joke was Shiite, can't you joke about Sunni else?" I could, or you Kuwait until I'm finished. Do I have more? Yemen, but Israeli not that many. I write them down though... I store them in Iraq. Or for transport I store them I'm my bag, Dad. (Pretend you're my dad.)

Edit: Minor detail (Quatar you doing, man!)

He looked at my with a smile in his face and say... "But what if it's sunny?"

It’s really Sunni.

It might be Sunni now but it will be Shiite later.

Dad: I can't find my sunnies anywhere Me: points to both my brothers they're right here.

Because it's always warm and sunny.

Sunny Psyduck

Everybody has such a Sunni disposition!

It was a sunny afternoon in the city, and a 29 foot Amazonian Anaconda slithered into a hipster burger store. The snake slithered up to the counter and looked over the menu to find that everything was gluten free. The anaconda was disappointed, because he always found that the light fluffy bread on each end of his burger was his favorite part of the burger.

The clerk greeted him with a smile. "Hello! My name is Hyun! Can I take your order?" he said.

The anaconda responded with a sentence so foul I cannot type it here. It contained several swear words and many racial slurs against his server, all because the burgers would be served without buns.

Hyun reeled back in disgust. He requested an apology from the snake. Again, the anaconda belted out horrible curses and vulgarities.

Hyun, being the good Christian man that he is, said that he would call upon his good friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism on the snake if he didn't leave. The snake finally slithered out upon hearing this.

About an hour later, the anaconda slithered back in with his owner. They approached the counter.

"Now what seems to be the problem here?" Said the anaconda's owner.

"This snake came in swearing up a storm and causing all kind of trouble all because we don't serve gluten in this restaurant" said Hyun.

"I threatened to call my friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism if he didn't leave."

"Oh" said the anaconda's owner "Sorry about that. My Anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns, Hyun".

At the zoo watching otters laze around he turned to us and goes "on a sunny day like this i bet they're getting otter otter laying there!" I had to acknowledge it was pretty quick.

Dad: <pointing to the room with the table> why? Is it sunny in there?

No, it grows on the Sunni side.

Me: Hey Dad why aren't the wedding photos on the cloud? I can't see them on my iPad.

Dad: I uploaded them on a sunny day.

My 5yo daughter came running up to me after playing at the park on a very sunny day. Her: "Mommy, I'm thirsty." Me: "Hi thirsty, my name's mommy. What can I do for you?" Her: "No Mommy! I'm not thirsty! I'M THIRSTY!" Me: "Now you're not making any sense." She promptly let out a groan and stomped away.

Group of us hanging out after class

Friend A: "I slept in till two today"

Me: "You missed all the sunlight! How do you get your Vitamin D?

Friend A: "I had a big plate of eggs after I woke up"

Friend B: "Eggs have Vitamin D?"

Me : "I guess if you cook them sunny side up"

You know you have a great dad joke when you are the only one in the room laughing

me: " hey dad whats the weather spose to be?" dad: "sunny with high winds so its a good thing were on the ground and not in a plane"

Q: Why is Seattle (or any other rainy city) like Cher?

A: Because it's not fucking sunny anymore!

My family are all big fans of the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, so when a trailer for The Lego Movie came on, we all paid close attention, because Charlie Day from the show has a role in it.

My dad, who was in the other room, came in and asked what we were talking about.

"The Lego Movie. A trailer just came on for it."

"Oh, I've heard great things about that I think it's going to be big."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, a real blockbuster."

Do you think that Muslims like their eggs Sunni side up?