Summer Sun Puns

A tangent.

What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?

A: Lenin suits

What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?

A: That'll leave a Marx!

What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?

A: Stop Stalin and get to work!

What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?

A: Mao! That hurts!

An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.

The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."

The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."

20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.

The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"

The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."

I don't know if this necessarily qualifies as a "dad joke" as much as a "dad move" but when I was younger, about 10 or 11, I was in the backyard with my dad on a summer afternoon. The sun was going down and I nonchalantly said, "I wonder what time it is..." He looked up towards the sun and pointed with his left hand, causing me to look with him. He answered, "Oh, about 5:36." I was in awe that he could be so exact but I still thought it was a guess, so I ran inside to check the clock in the kitchen. Sure enough, it read 5:36. I was amazed but my dad refused to tell me his secret. He just kept saying he just knew based on the sun, and that it was "magic", every time I asked.

I am now 24. And as I was sitting outside the other day, watching the sunset, I thought back to this, still amazed he did it. Then, it clicked. He was wearing a watch on his right wrist, which he looked at when he diverted my attention to looking at the sun. I hope to be like him one day...

tl;dr I thought my dad could tell time by looking at the sun. He looked at a watch when I wasn't looking.

She was talking to her dad over the phone about what she wanted to do that summer when she mentioned she'd like to go to the beach.

Dad: "We can just bring some sand into the living room."

Her: "Well what are we going to do about the sun?"

Dad: "You know, I'm so bright that my Dad calls me son!"

It was met by groans by her and her mother and hysterical laughter by me.