Summer Party Puns

I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.

Barbie Q!

Because their summer nights are lit

• I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

• I went up to the airport information desk. I said "How many airports are there in the world?"

• I hate fat girls who use the excuse "oh the camera adds 10lb" Well, stop eating cameras then.

• At the check-in desk the girl said, ''Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''Window seat or you'll what? Are you threatening me?''

She said, ''No, calm down. Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''l'll have a seat.''

• When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

• A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said: "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said: "All right, but we won't get much done"

• Did you know you're ten times more likely to get mugged in London than New York City? Thats because you don't live in New York City.

• Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

• British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray.

A coworker of mine invited me to his pool party this summer. About halfway through the party, he came up to me and quietly said "I'd appreciate it if you didn't pee in the pool anymore." I said "Sure, no problem. But most people pee in the pool, so why are you singling me out?" He said "Because most people don't do it while standing on the diving board."

My dad has been at my house visiting all week, so I've got quite a few more.