Sum Nung Puns

Ang sama sa loob ikuwento nito, oo. To the point na everyday na akong may sakit ng ulo dahil sa pagiyak. Kadiri, I know.

And it's not your usual online fling lang kasi we had our fair share of efforts din to each other. It took me a while para pumasok sa relationship ulit so I'm not really scared to be alone. But maaan she felt like home. Nakita niya constant MDD suffering ko and she was fine with it. Open arms and all. We had amazing dates, we talked for hours, naglakad ng malalayong lugar. She surprised me on my birthday last November. For the first time in quite some time, I felt genuinely happy na tumanda ako. She called me babe, love, at kung ano pa.

Grabe chemistry and everything just clicked. Everything was going well, or so I thought.

Ayaw niya na bigla nung dumating yung January. She made it look so easy.

Hesitant pa raw siyang ighost ako but dun na rin papunta. Isang beses nagtetext sa isang araw. Ano yun para lang sa courtesy ba? Then nalaman ko na may someone pala.

I was patient naman to her all the time and the last thing that I wanted was for her to get stressed or hurt with whatever we have...had.

Di naman ako nanghingi ng anything out of line pero sana nabigyan ako ng decent closure. O kahit ng answers man lang.

Para akong random shiny thing na nakita at pinagsawaan.

Sama sa pakiramdam. Nakakalungkot. Nakakagalit.

Mapanakit din pala ibang mga medical practitioners. Lol.

That's it.

It took me 2 years to build myself from the ground up tapos nasira lang ulit ng 2 months.

Magandang hapon.

Edit: I blocked her already sa tg last weekend kasi wala siyang guts to do so. Hinihintay niya ako yung tumapos.

She knows my 2 mobile numbers... I received nothing.

I think that sums it up already.

Hi r/phinvest,

Gaya nga ng nabasa nyo iniisip kong i-cancel ang VUL ko with PruLife after my APE kung wala akong sakit/problema sa katawan (knock on wood)

Mag tatanong sana ako kung pano nyo ma gu-guide sa decision ko, here are my details:

• I got my VUL with PruLife, the product is (PRULINK ELITE PROTECTOR 15) so may maturity sya na 15 years, sum assured 4m, expect to mature pag 45 na ko
• I'm paying 6,250 per month
• I already paid around 18 months, with the total of 112,500
• When I check the financial value its currently just 40,008.81 lang, damn! i know!
• 72,500 ung napunta sa Pru :(

About me:

• 30 years old, going 31 this year
• no dependent, except sa parents ko na pa senior na
• 70k+ average net salary
• 300k EF in two digital banks
• 200k invested online (75% copy trading, 25% crypto)
• 95k in UITF
• 20k NFT (Axie, sarili ko lang)
• 200k traditional bank
• I'm not sure about my monthly expenses kasi hindi ako nag ta-track (sorry) pero kakatapos lang ng car loan ko and makaka free ako ng 16k monthly, despite that, bills, groceries and konting luho around 10-20k siguro per month hindi ako sure

My question is, should I cancel na ba my VUL or is there a break-even position (some months/years) from now na mas may makukuha ako sa VUL ko?

After cancelling it I'm thinking of getting a term insurance on Sun Life (SUN Safer Life) and invest the other money on Pag-ibig MP2 based sa napanood ko dito https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWQRrG2wLc0&t=2204s, or invest it on ETF (VOO, VTI, QQQ) on the broker that I use.

Of course cancelling it right now is sobrang sakit kasi parang na holdap ka sa fees, pero I'm trying to be positive and treating it as a financial lesson kasi insured naman ako nung panahon na un, but still hoping na baka may break even point?

Considering na pandemic ko sya kinuha and market crash possible ba tumaas ung invested value dun after Covid or maka rebound ang market?

Now bakit ko pa aantayin ung APE? kasi gusto ko lang maka siguro (knock on wood again) na kung etong iniinda kong parang sakit sa bato ay wala lang and nag ka cancer kasi ung kapatid ko and I'm trying to be careful kaya kinuha ko rin nung time na un.

I know its been a long post already pero ayoko lang ulit kasi gumawa ng bad financial decision like getting my car as casa loan instead of bank loan (thank god tapos na to), fomoing on crypto na 30% na lang ung value ngayon, and now this VUL, hoping to get y

Hey so for those that remember my analysis posts during Feast Week and stuff, sorry for not posting on of these in a little bit, finals + work kicked my ass. Meanwhile, a lot, er well, enough action has gone down in the college basketball world to still be interesting as we head into the Christmas break and transition from non-conference play into league play. One of the most interesting developments recently has been the performance of the Villanova Wildcats. Questions were abound about Jay Wright's team after 2 road blowout losses on the trot against Baylor and Creighton. The same team that went to OT @ UCLA, clobbered Tennessee on a neutral court, and went toe-to-toe with Purdue the very next day all of a sudden struggled to do anything against the Bears and Blue Jays. The Wildcats finally got of the schneid on Tuesday in the friendly confines of Finneran Pavillion versus Xavier. The big question remains however: Who is Villanova really, and how did they turn 2 crushing defeats into a double-digit victory against the red-hot Musketeers?

There were 3 specific things about Villanova's offense that I believe are the reasons for their struggles when I went through the film of those 2 losses: The lack of dynamic ball handling outside of Collin Gillespie, a lack of chemistry in their Pick n Roll attack, and their absurdly slow tempo.

Villanova's Secondary Ball Handling

Let's start off by covering the first point. There is no one with any sort of consistent creativity or flair in their game other than Collin Gillespie. It's difficult to have an effective read-n-react offense if you do not have players that force the defense to help off their man. That was honestly the biggest thing I noticed, it was so easy for the Bears and Blue Jays to stay in front of guys like Justin Moore and Brandon Slater with 1 defender that those defenses were never put in conflict. No one is drawing help or even drawing fouls at the rim. Even Gillespie himself is not much of a creative ball handler (Collin had ZERO 2pt FGAs in the Baylor game), but he at least has some quickness off the dribble and can get himself into spots where he's got a decent chance to score. Jermaine Samuels and Eric Dixon as big men don't help mitigate this problem very much either. They just are not great safety valves on the block, as they lack great footwork and touch to be sources of easy, efficient offense against high level competition. This is the one problem that I do not think th

Hi, I just want to know if okay po ang Insurance na inoffer sakin ni BPI? The agent discussed it to me na 4 in 1 siya which is nagstart lang daw nila inoffer simula nung nagkaroon ng covid.

Here are the details.

1. LIFE INSURANCE COVERAGE - Should anything happen to the Insured, your loved ones will receive a lump-sum cash benefit of PHP 1,050,000 which is the Face Amount of your policy less 125% of all partial withdrawals made or the Account Value, whichever is higher. (Subject to the Minimum Guaranteed Death Benefit2.)
2. MEDICAL BENEFIT - The Insured can avail of in-patient care and other medical services up to PHP 500,000 per year. Please see List of Covered Services (https://imgur.com/EqJi7zy) Under Medical Benefit Rider for the details of your plan.
3. DAILY HOSPITAL INCOME BENEFIT - You will receive a cash benefit of PHP 1,000 for each day of hospital confinement for up to three hundred sixty-five (365) days.
4. WAIVER OF PREMIUM - If the Insured becomes totally and permanently disabled, you will no longer have to pay the succeeding Basic Premium and Special Top-up Premium, if any. However, the Medical Benefit and Hospital Income Benefit will automatically terminate once Waiver of Premium takes effect.

Payment is ₱2,090.29 php/month or ₱25,263.44 php/year

I'm 25yo Male and this is my First Time to get an insurance po.

Meron din po pala siya sinabi na meron investment pero konti lang daw po.

Meron din po ako nasa 350k+ pesos na nakadeposit sa BPI.

Thanks po in advance!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hello! May nakita na naman akong redditor asking about lump sum vs monthly hulog tsaka January vs other months para sa MP2.

Ang alam ko, basta MP2, the best time and amount to put in is whatever amount you have that you can invest now. This is to take advantage of the compounding interest.

Pero na-curious ako sa difference ng accumulated savings based on different techniques so nag-experiment ako haha. I used a Dividend Calculator based on a video by OFW Power. Btw, kung may mali ako someone please correct me para maliwanagan na tayong lahat.

Ang formula niya ay: Dividend Income for the Month = Total Contribution for the Month (TCM) * Dividend Factor (DF) * Dividend Rate (DR) Total Accumulated Savings = Total Contributions + Total Dividend Income

Yung DR ay yung yearly inaannounce ng Pag-Ibig na usually around 6-7%. Iisa lang yung value na ‘to for the whole year.

Yung DF naman ay specific monthly factor na highest in January (DF = 1) tapos bumababa hanggang December (DF = 0.08).

For this experiment, let’s just assume that the DR will be the same for 5 years. Yung gamit ko ay yung DR for 2021, which is 6.12%. Tapos, sa Year 1 lang maghuhulog.

Then compare yung outcomes ng total savings from different techniques of investing P100,000:

1. Lump sum on January -> 134,581.76

2. Lump sum on February -> 142,159.25

3. Lump sum on March -> 141,417.98

4. Lump sum on April -> 140,759.06

5. Lump sum on May -> 140,100.15

6. Lump sum on June -> 139,358.88

7. Lump sum on July ->138,699.96

8. Lump sum on August -> 138,041.05

9. Lump sum on September -> 137,299.77

10. Lump sum on October -> 136,640.86

11. Lump sum on November -> 135,981.95

12. Lump sum on December -> 135,240.67

13. Monthly (8,333.33 per month starting January) -> 131,024.40

14. Monthly (starting February Year 1 until January Year 2) -> 138,356.72

15. Monthly (starting December Year 1 until November Year 2) -> 131,674.35

Akala ko starting on January yung magkakaroon ng highest yield. It makes sense di ba — January has the highest Dividend Factor, so eto dapat yung may highest accumulated savings. Pero February pala! And parang lowest yield pa yung January. Bakit?

Kung tama yung calculator, magkakaroon ka ng Buffer kung yung first contribution mo ay hindi ginawa nung January.

For example: Kung first contribution mo ay January 2021, ang Year 1 mo ay Jan-Dec 2021, ang Year 5 mo ay Jan-Dec 2025. Kung first contribution mo ay February 2021, ang Year 1 mo ay

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Pilot on me!!

Nagtampo yung tatay ko sakin last weekend. Kakarating lang namin sa grocery saktong lunch time, so naisip namin na bumili muna ng pagkain sa katabing food court. Habang naglalakad kami, tinanong kami ni Mama, "saan tayo kakain?" Nakatingin siya kay papa nung sinabi niya yun kasi si Papa sumasagot ng Saturday lunch namin lagi. Kumbaga, ang hatian namin sa gastusin ay - kaming 2 ni Mama sa weekday ulam at utility bills. Si Papa sa Saturday expenses (pa-deliver/takeout, other expenses na sobrang madalang lang). Kanya-kanya ang bayad sa personal needs sa grocery. Hindi naman sobrang malaki sweldo ko. Nagsimula 'to ever since nagkatrabaho ako at nagretire si Papa at 50 years old para magfocus sa forex trading.

Back to the story: After siya tanungin ni Mama, lumipat sa akin tingin ni Papa. Biglang sabi niya "Baka si Charity (not my real name) magpapakain." I ran my hands through my hair aggressively para mahalata na nainis ako. Nainis ako kasi malala na ang problema ng tatay ko sa pera at dinadamay niya kami ni Mama. Medyo mahaba yung kwento pero I'll sum it down below:

• Umutang siya ng 300,000 kay Mama (na hindi niya pa nababayaran) around 7 months ago to fund his forex trading account
• Umutang siya sa akin ng 70,000 para sa medicine, personal groceries, and credit card bills. Sabi niya kakausapin niya na si Mama 2 weeks ago.
• Binigyan ko siya ng excel sheet para macompute yung finances niya and para makabudget siya. May kasama na rin dun na financial and VA job openings, whatever interests him. Hindi niya ginagamit. (Marunong siya gumamit ng Excel)
• Hindi niya tinulungan si Mama bayaran yung construction ng gate last month. Si Papa yung nagsabi kay Mama na gusto niyang ipaayos yung gate.
• Ayaw niya kausapin si Mama tungkol sa money problems niya. Yung bullet #1, pinapalabas niya na for trading lang kasi gusto niya palakihin pera niya

Nagsimula siyang umutang sakin noong March. Dati nababayaran niya pa, pero ang pinangbabayad niya ay utang rin (loans). Halos every 2 weeks, umuutang siya sakin kaya lumobo to 70k.

Back to the story ulit: Nakita ng tatay ko yung inis na gesture na yun. Sinamahan niya ako bumili sa KFC, na nakakapagtaka kasi ako na nga magbabayad. Biglang sabi niya "Alam mo Charity, wag ka mastress. Babayaran naman kita sa December eh." Tapos sinundan niya ng, "Dapat kakausapin ko na si Mama, kaso naiistress talaga ako. Ang pamilya dapat nagtutulungan. Dapat naiintindihan niyo ako. Babayaran naman kita eh, naiintindihan ko na nagbu

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "