As a matter of Texan pride; remember the à la mode.
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
To be fair, the people he was photographing did try to warn him.
But I think it's OK
Because they are cheetahs
He was over the moon
Get well soon.
She didn’t want a lot for Christmas
...a bunch of landmines.
It was a miss-steak.
Having a bit of a discipline issue with my daughter... she'll bring a pile of sand inside and make what she calls her "land". It's sand arranged in a flattish layer, with toy animals and her lego house (Friends^TM , why she no like diggers and helicopters and whatever, why she gotta be so girly??). She doesn't like getting her hand dirty while she's doing it, wears a glove to keep clean, so you'd think she could understand the concept that I don't like the floor getting dirty... but no, she doesn't give a shit.
Had her third birthday party recently, and gave her a Skye (Paw Patrol) plushy, she loves it. Because it's her newest and most favourite toy in the whole world, and because it was for her birthday, we can't confiscate it no matter what.
Very next day, she makes her land again, Skye's there at the side - she's too big to sit in the middle, it would dominate all the plastic dinosaurs and lego Friends people (not the usual mini-figs, they're a bit more anatomically correct, anyway that's not important right now). So I'm all angry and "why you keep doing this", take the glove off her and sweep up the sand. Put her in the time out cage for a bit. Well, we call it the cage, it's just a cupboard under the stairs which is a bit shorter than her so she has to sit there if she doesn't want to bump her head. Throw her in there for one minute per year of age, is the standard procedure.
Anyway, as we close the door she starts singing...
Take my glove
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still three
You can't take this Skye from me
He's a soar loser.
That was rough.
Duck.
It was a good thing they didn't pass to the pigeon.
Otherwise it would have been fowl play.
People are lining up for blocks.
She's allergic to dandy lions
A Peter Panda.
Abominable.
A massacre
[I came up with this :,) ]
A whole lot
Edit: The original punchline was “a lot” but “a whole lot” is way better.
Placebo Domingo.
A Fudgina.
I'd completely lost my appletart
So I used stevia instead.
Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.
It's a viscous cycle.
My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
Sundae school.
It would be called "Vortexas".
We are currently filming the pilot
Did Juneau we’re in the capitol city?
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
I guess you can say the bus ride was on the house.
Will beheading there tomorrow.
Rock and roll!
That snow coincidence.
Dad: I steaked my claim!
At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.
