Storming Home Puns

Very put out, indeed!

One day a storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his home... now he's in a pickle.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

What do you call bears with no ears? b

What do you call a human with no hum? someone who isn't annoying

what do you call a dear with no eyes? no eye dear

Why does Johannesburg have no vampires? Because the rain is blessed in Africa

Why did the storm trooper buy an Iphone? because he couldn't find a good droid

Did you hear about the kidnapping? It's ok, he woke up

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home

I was at the airport waiting for my flight home the other night when over the P.A they asked everyone from flight DJ-478 to Sydney to make their way to the service desk, so myself and my fellow passengers make our way over to the desk, where the very embarrassed and obviously distressed desk worker informs us that our flight has been cancelled, and the next one isn't till the morning, she then tells us that the airport will happily put us up in the 5 star hotel around the corner, and have us dropped back at the airport at 7am the following morning. Most the people there accepted this, after the desk lady told us it was for our personal safety and that there wasn't a lot more they could do, except this one particular gentleman, who storms over to the desk, and tells the woman that he needed to be in sydney tonight, and demands a flight be made available. (It's like 9:30 by this point, surely it could wait till the morning?). After again apologizing to the man, she tells him that won't be possible, and she sends us all on our way to the shuttle bus, with our bags already on there, and off we go to the hotel. The entire bus trip this guy carried on whinging and swearing, getting angrier and angrier by the second. We get to the hotel, and he's about 30 people behind the front of the queue to check in, and he gets impatient with the time it's taking, and again, storms his way up the line, past me (I was at the front), walks over to the desk, slams his fist down and says to the woman behind the desk "I want the biggest room you have, I want it in the next 30 seconds or so help me god, you aren't gonna like what happens", the woman looked up at him and said "Sir, the airport has paid for the rooms we already have organized, if you'll take your place back in line, we'll be with you as soon as we can", the guy got really angry about being asked to move back to his spot, he threw his bag down, and yelled at the woman, "Fuck this, call me a taxi, right fucking now, I'll find somewhere else to stay", that's when i decided to step in.

I said. "Oh okay then, you're a taxi".

He took his place back in line pretty quick.

I won't technically be a dad for another 2 months but it's coming faster than I expected.

Yesterday I went out to eat with my wife and after dinner we contemplated going out for ice cream. As we left the restaurant though a huge storm had blown in and it was crazy windy outside. I decided that we should just go home to avoid the storm and as we drove past a Baskin Robbins my wife made a comment about how empty the store was and I quickly replied with a smile on my face "Everyone must have got wind of the storm."

It was followed by an eye roll by my wife.