Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
It will be a very sad day when Kevin Bacon dies.
So I was planning a bank heist with my friend Steven. We'd gotten everything planned out, it was all set up, and we were in the parking lot of the bank, ready to go.
Last minute, Steven turns to me and goes "I can't do this man. Armed rbbery is wrong, I don't wanna risk getting anyone hurt."
So I turned to our third guy, who was also named Steven (christmas is a total nightmare. I tell him "let's make Steven #1 our fall guy, if the cops catch us, he takes the heat and we walk away scott free.
This Steven #2 goes "No no, we can't do that. Steven #1 doesn't want any part of this, we need to respect his decision."
So it turns out, there is honor among Steves.
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
it has a bit of veneer missing.
The whole area is coned off.
But you can't really compare apples to oranges.
I have a eerie feeling about it.
...do they have to put out cones ?
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
It’s a whole family feud
Now he’s Penis von Lesbian.
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
White Vans!
- with animals in his heart.
I said I know where to rent the van but they had to find the passengers themselves.
did they bust a move?
Because he lent his ear to everyone else's problems.
Police said he'd topped himself
Because they make people vanish. NOW GET INSIDE!
Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.
It was a near turtle disaster.
Just helping them get their start.
I had a customer who loved that I made their Van Gogh, but hated it when I talked their ear off.
Jellyfish: Done
Muhammad Ali: sting like a bee
Jellyfish: I am nailing this.
White Vans
Though, personally I think it'll be a bit odd if we're both called Steve.
...it was für Elise
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Turns out it failed to protect you from harmful rays.
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
It was a family feud
It was a turtle disaster!
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
