A list of puns related to "Star For A Night"
One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.
Then breaking through the flurries, I saw the headlights of a plow truck in my rearview mirror. Thanking my lucky stars, I turned in and followed the truck, hopeful that it would lead me back somewhere I recognized.
I followed that truck for what felt like hours. He turned left, I'd turn left. He'd swing to the right, and I was right on his tail. After a while, I saw brake lights from the plow, followed by four-way flashers. The plow had stopped, and I saw the driver get out and approach my car. I rolled down the window to talk to him.
"Why are you following me, kid?" the plow driver asked.
"Well sir, my dad told me if I was ever lost in a snowstorm, I should wait for a plow truck and then follow it."
"Well," said the plow driver. "I just finished clearing the Target parking lot. Want to follow me over to Best Buy??"
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SNL TONIGHT and the CyberTruckPrototype itself being the star of the show in NYC.
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What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.
βGood morning class, today weβll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?β
Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. βThe stars last night were fascinating.β
Teacher looks at her and says,βClose, I want you to use the word Fascinate.β
A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,βIβm fascinated by the ocean and itβs creatures.β
βThatβs still not the answer Iβm looking for.β The teacher says. βCan anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.β
A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,βMy grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.β
He must have it in his Genes.
But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.
Star Trek
Star Trek
Nailin' The Kelvin
Labor Of Love
Hella Bar Talk
Enterprising Young Men
Nero Sighted
Nice To Meld You
Run And Shoot Offense
Does It Still McFly?
Nero Death Experience
Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns
Back From Black
That New Car Smell
To Boldly Go
End Credits
Star Trek Into Darkness
Logos / Pranking The Natives
Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps
Sub Prime Directive
London Calling
Meld-Merized
The Kronos Wartet
Brigadoom
Ship To Ship
Earthbound And Down
Warp Core Values
Buying The Space Farm
The San Fran Hustle
Kirk Enterprises
Star Trek Main Theme
Star Trek Beyond
Logo and Prosper
Thank Your Lucky Star Date
Night on the Yorktown
The Dance of the Nebula
A Swarm Reception
Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard
Jaylah Damage
In Artifacts as in Life
Franklin, My Dear
A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy
MotorCycles of Relief
Mocking Jaylah
Crash Decisions
Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free
Shutdown Happens
Cater-Krall in Zero G
Par-tay for the Course
Star Trek Main Theme
I was at the airport waiting for my flight home the other night when over the P.A they asked everyone from flight DJ-478 to Sydney to make their way to the service desk, so myself and my fellow passengers make our way over to the desk, where the very embarrassed and obviously distressed desk worker informs us that our flight has been cancelled, and the next one isn't till the morning, she then tells us that the airport will happily put us up in the 5 star hotel around the corner, and have us dropped back at the airport at 7am the following morning. Most the people there accepted this, after the desk lady told us it was for our personal safety and that there wasn't a lot more they could do, except this one particular gentleman, who storms over to the desk, and tells the woman that he needed to be in sydney tonight, and demands a flight be made available. (It's like 9:30 by this point, surely it could wait till the morning?). After again apologizing to the man, she tells him that won't be possible, and she sends us all on our way to the shuttle bus, with our bags already on there, and off we go to the hotel. The entire bus trip this guy carried on whinging and swearing, getting angrier and angrier by the second. We get to the hotel, and he's about 30 people behind the front of the queue to check in, and he gets impatient with the time it's taking, and again, storms his way up the line, past me (I was at the front), walks over to the desk, slams his fist down and says to the woman behind the desk "I want the biggest room you have, I want it in the next 30 seconds or so help me god, you aren't gonna like what happens", the woman looked up at him and said "Sir, the airport has paid for the rooms we already have organized, if you'll take your place back in line, we'll be with you as soon as we can", the guy got really angry about being asked to move back to his spot, he threw his bag down, and yelled at the woman, "Fuck this, call me a taxi, right fucking now, I'll find somewhere else to stay", that's when i decided to step in.
I said. "Oh okay then, you're a taxi".
He took his place back in line pretty quick.
Dad:(Talking about his dentist appointment) They told me I'm getting false teeth.
Me: Oh yeah? That's good, it'll make things a lot eaiser for you.
Dad: Yeah I know. They'll be like the stars and come out at night. (Does dadjoke laugh like Mister Krabs)
I left the room in the middle of our conversation.
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