A list of puns related to "St 2"
These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...
So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.
The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only chance, so he agrees reluctantly.
So he's back on Earth in this beautiful chicken coop, the sun is shining, there's green grass everywhere, this is hen paradise. The other hens greet him with delight and he tells them his story, everything goes nicely. But then he feels kind of unwell, there's something wrong with his stomach. He asks this old hen: "Tell me, I've got this weird feeling in my belly, I'm not too well. What is happening to me?"
The old hen: "Well dearie, we hens lay eggs, you know. I bet you've never laid a nice egg before... You need to push it out now, and you'll feel much better after!"
So the guy pushes and pushes, and wham, out pops his first egg. The old hen congratulates him and he feels much better. But not 5 minutes later, his pain comes back. He returns to the old hen for advice.
"Well dearie, it's quite special but it happens that you need to lay TWO eggs, so go back there and keep pushing!"
So he goes back to his nest and pushes, and nothing comes, and he pushes harder, and wham, out comes his second egg! He feels much better, but not 2 minutes later, you guessed it, he's back in terrible pain and goes to see the old hen.
"What's this bullshit here, and don't tell me I've got a third egg to lay!" The old hen can't make head or tail of it and just tells him that when in doubt, he should be pushing. So the guy goes back to work and then, wham, his wife wakes him up with this smashing slap in the face and yells: "*Dave! Dave wake up youβre
... keep reading on reddit β‘(12 + 144 + 20 + 3β4)/7 + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0
Well measured.
>!The expression evaluates true, but it also forms a limmerick when read out loud (click it to read a spoken version).!<
A slice of coconut cream pie in Barbados is $2.50 A slice of coconut cream pie in Trinidad & Tobago is $2.75 And a slice of coconut cream pie in St. Thomas is $3.25
These are the pie rates of the carribean
In Barbados a chicken & mushroom pie is Β£2.30
In St Kitts and Nevis a mince and onion pie costs Β£1.75
In Trinidad and Tobago you can have a steak and Ale pie for Β£2.50.
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean.
Todayβs my 43rd birthday and Iβm sitting st breakfast with my 8 year old. She is learning her multiplication tables and the concept of division.
Me: What numbers divide evenly into 43? Her: Iβm not sure? Me: Can 43 be divided by 2?...Is it even? Her: No. Me: Correct! Since 43 is odd, we can say with confidence that it canβt be divided evenly by any even number! Can 43 be divided by 10?...Does it end in 0? Her: No. Me: Well, did you know that 43 can only be evenly divided by 1 and itself. This makes it a prime number. I guess being 43 means that Iβm in my prime!
Grandpa: StLuis88, which hand do you use to wipe, after #2?
Me: uhhh....wha..?...my..right...hand....
Grandpa: You're gross! Why don't you use toilet paper?
Edit: a word
My brother drives for St John's ambulance service and had just dropped a patient in hospital when he came out with this corker..
Nurse: So what's the patients name?
Brother: Ron
Nurse: That's the second Ron we've had in today
Brother: Well you know what they say, 2 Rons don't make a right
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
...a chicken and mushroom pie for Β£1.60 and an apple pie for Β£2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you Β£2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is Β£1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for Β£1.95.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
Credit goes to an excellent joke making friend of mine
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