A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.
He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.
He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.
To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.
Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".
(Works better when you say it out loud).
Do you know why it's called Staten Island?
Because when people first got there, they looked across the water and said 'S'dat-an island?'
He used to pantomime the punchline by shielding his eyes from the sun and squinting.
My co-worker Jose is Guatemalan. We usually joke on each other about our respective races but I refer to him as everything but Guatemalan. Mexican, Puerto Rican, Ecuadorian etc.
Today he pulled a stupid move at the end of the day. "Jose! Ya stupid Bolivian" "I'm not from Bolivia!" "Really Jose? Because I don't Boleev-ya"
Annoyed anger and squinted eyes were his only response.
We just finished setting up the tree; we were all looking at the angel on the top, and I noticed she looked a little irritated. So I voiced it. "She looks like she's pissed at one of us." I said. Dad looks up, squints his eyes, and says... "She looks like she has a stick up her ass."
