Spilled Coffee Puns

I said decaf.

I told him he was grounded

It won’t Sleep now

Judging from the expresso on his face, he's not too happy with me.

So I said to him, “hey, at least it has a silver lining”

I prefer my coffee ground.

He was thankful it wasn't on his watch.

I was up all night.

As protocol, we always recommend that the client turns off their laptop after a spill.

My boss walks by and says "You know, she's gonna have to put her laptop to sleep but now it won't be able to!"

Her joe leans.

So at work this morning I opened up a new can of coffee grounds and thought “If I spilled this on the floor...would that be grounds for termination?” 😆

The man frowns. “What do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

“A mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

“Oh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

“An affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. “Can you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. “Ok, the special is in this jar.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, “It’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, “I guess you spilled the beans.”

And there was a coffee on a counter. One of the employees knocked the coffee over and it spilled on the ground. The owner of the coffee was upset but I told her at least it was freshly ground!

I saw one of the trainers spill his coffee on one of the dolphins. It looked like an accident, but it was totally on porpoise.

So today as I was making my morning coffee, I fill up my little K cup thing with my coffee and walk over to the coffee maker to put it in and I spill it all over the floor. I start cleaning it up when my dad walks in and chuckles. I say "What?" And he replies "Hehe, coffee GROUNDS". We had a good laugh.

He spilled my brand new bag of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. I told him it was grounds for divorce.

John Deavensmit was not having a good time. After an incident involving a coffee spill, he'd been sued for $50 million, and somehow the jury had ruled against him. There was no way he could pay that much money; he'd go bankrupt.

Naturally, he filed for an appeal, but the winner of the case was already beginning to hound him for money, hoping to get at least something before the judgement was overturned. John was nearly at his wit's end before he found an unusual package in his mailbox.

It was from a couple of his friends, who all went on to law school when John left to create a startup. They'd all been very successful, and had gone on to be justices at various levels, from courts in a small county in Wisconsin all the way to the Supreme Court. When he opened it up, he was surprised to see an ink drawing of a thick wooden stick. It was signed by his friends, and accompanied by a note:

> Hey John, > > We're sorry to hear about your loss in court last month. We met up at a judge conference in the Davison Center, and we thought that we'd do something special for you. We met up in the Grapefruit Room and all worked together to draw this. We hope you enjoy it! > > Your friends

Now, John had been to D.C. a few times, and knew about the Davison Centre. It was renowned for its very offbeat architecture. The Grapefruit Room was one of the weirdest: it had been constructed by taking a world-record grapefruit, carving out the flesh, and preserving the rind. The result was a walk-in fruit, and it always smelled of citrus.

It took John a while to work out the significance of the gift, but when he realized it, he was overjoyed. His good friends had seen fit to grant him a stave judge-men penned in a peel.

At Perkins the waiter asked her if she wanted bottomless coffee. She said, " No, that's not necessary. Plus it'd spill all over the table"

Dad bumped into me as I was walking out of the kitchen almost dropping the cup of coffee in my hands.

"Watch out Joe! You don't want to spill yourself all over the floor" - Dad

I work at a coffee shop and I managed to spill coffee grounds all over myself to the extent that I had to go home and change. My dad dropped this one on me as I walked back in the door after my shift.

Dad: "You know what happens if you spill on yourself twice right?"

Me: "What?"

Dad: "It's grounds for termination."