Last night my 13 y/o daughter was cooking spaghetti and she said, "Do you know how to tell when pasta is done?"

I said, "how?"
She goes, "When it's all-done-te!"

Very proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2022
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How can you tell if your spaghetti is pasta used by date?

Just have a look in the colander.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outofoffice247
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...

...he was forced to take out a restraining order.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I love to cook spaghetti, but am really bad at serving... it's a real mission in-pasta-bowl.

I really noodle get better at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patentpunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Whats a good pasta to make on Friday the 13th?

Fettuccine Afraid-O

thank you for your time...

πŸ‘︎ 590
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiddlyDoRight
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2022
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If spaghetti and a dead man got into a fight, who would win?

The spaghetti because the dead man pasta way.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jessedw2
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2022
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What do you call noodles that are not really noodles?

Im-pastas

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2022
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I spent my entire life savings on pasta.

It was worth every penne.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house?

Fettuccini Afraido

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catsandlettuce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Growing up we were quite poor and loved pasta.

My Dad would get us excited by telling us we would get pasta for dinner. We would end up eating whatever was in the discount bin.

Dad: Kids, we're having pasta for dinner! Us: Yay! Dad: Pasta-used-by-date!

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/so0ty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2014
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Spaghetti car

I told my wife I was building a car out of spaghetti. She told me to stop being stupid. You should've seen her face as I drove pasta!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamster_1988
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Runs on Marinara

My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob9109
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I just wanted to leave a few dad jokes if that's okay with all dads in this subreddit....

1.bI refused to believe my dad was fired as a road worker for theft

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

  1. Yesterday, I was fired from a keyboard factory

Apparently, I wasn't putting enough shifts.

  1. My friends bet me $50 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

You should've seen the look on their face when I drove pasta.

  1. The price of a slice of an apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in Bahamas

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

  1. "Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group", a man said.

"Btw I have to say I'm very disappointed to see only a few new faces this week."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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A spanish meatball greets an italian spaghetti

"ΒΏQue pasta?"

The spaghetti looks on, confused. The meatball says,

"ΒΏQue, pasta?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Eating spaghetti with the two year old

Him: shovels spaghetti into gob using both hands, smearing spaghetti, olive oil and garlic all over his face

Me: β€œWell now you’ve gotta pasta face and pasta fingers, I guess I gotta pasta napkin”

My wife: Eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irongustavius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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How can you tell if your spaghetti is fake?

The spaghetti keeps saying "im pasta"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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Used this one a lot when I cooked in an Italian-American restaurant

Server: "I forgot to send this spaghetti as a half/split order. Can you fix it please?"

Me: "It can't be done."

Server: "Why not?"

Me: "Its InPastaBowl."

They don't say it, but I know they all miss my awesome jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolate_factory
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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Dad got with this one at dinner

My mum was serving dinner and we were meant to have spaghetti. Upon finding out that we were served pasta instead, my dad stood up and shouted

"What is this impasta!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mromnomnomcookie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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I'm a Dad to be, did some shopping today with the wife.

We're walking down a supermarket isle looking for Spaghetti:

Her: "We need Spaghetti, have we missed it?"

Me: "I think... We just pasta it!"

Her: "Not funny at all" she says as I'm chuckling away at my own joke.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiefian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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My Dog's name is Pasta

We're on vacation. We drove up to New York, and we took our dogs with us. We're all eating spaghetti for dinner. My brother asks while we are all at the table, "Is this pasta the same that we have at home?", and my dad immediately responds with, "I sure hope so, you drove up here with her."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FnordlikeCrane
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gaming_Gil_Bros
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the pasta factory

I made a fusilli mistakes

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ropach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
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My crazy GF

My GF said I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti should of seen the face when I drove pasta (pas-tA)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThotSlyer69420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Making a car

My sister didn’t believe me that I could make a car out of spaghetti...

Should’ve seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slipperyfloor24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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