Soft Microprocessor Puns

I guess the concept didn't work

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I'll start by saying I know this question has been asked a thousand times already and I have read through a lot of those posts but I would still appreciate some of your input.

Basically I am currently in my second semester of my second year of software engineering and I am really starting to hate it. I wanted to go into soft eng beause I love programming and I want to be a software engineer in the future, but I hate how much hardware is integrated into the program.

I knew in first year that engineering was general and things would become more program specific in future years which is why I never considered leaving eng until now. Initially I thought that I would be better at applied math than theory because I enjoyed it in high school, but with all the hardware courses and labs and lack of electives, I've barely had any breathing room and as a result my grades and mental health have been suffering, and I'm sure online classes haven't been helping either.

This is why I have been thinking about comp sci soft eng stream. I have been spending some time looking over courses and I have noticed a fair amount of overlap in some courses, but what relly stands out to me is:

1. electives. I hate not having any electives in eng and having all my courses planned out for me.
2. hours/week. by this I mean many of my current and future classes currently are about lectures 3hrs a week and labs 3hrs a week. I have noticed that in comp sci, on average you dont have as full of a schedule
3. content. as mentioned, I hate some of the hardware stuff I'm doing. I was unsuccessful in elec2501 last semester and I really hate circuits. Although I kinda enjoyed sysc2310 due it being so straightforward, I can't help but wonder how building a microprocessor in sysc2320 is something that will help me in the future as a software engineer, much less something I am interested in doing. however, comp sci covers some topics I would be interested in, such as web applications.

I also want to mention I know comp sci isn't easy, and I would still have to be putting in a lot of effort no matter which program I am in. The main reason I want to switch is to be more open and flexible in my schedule, and take courses I actually enjoy.

The other thing I want to mention is that I had a slow start after high school, and even after getting into Carleton engineering, I switched my major within eng after last year. As a result, I'm now 21, still in second year, debating resetting my progress again.

I'm AK amputee, with a short stump length, and I use crutches to walk. I always wanted to walk without the help of crutches, spent a lot of time and effort to practice, but I never felt confident enough walking like that especially on longer distances. I noticed that people who are able to do that are BK amputes or AK with a long stump, which keeps me wondering if my goals are realistic at all.

What are your experiences on that? How long is your stump, and can you walk safely enough with your prosthetics without any aiding tools?

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

When I believed the Apollo landings were faked, this video was one of the strongest evidences I had. According to moon landing truthers, this video proves we can’t travel through the deadly Van Allen radiation belts. I used to wonder how NASA could completely disprove their own accomplishments in such a spectacular fashion. I will attempt to demonstrate how it doesn’t prove or even suggest we never traveled through the belts, and how radiation is a hazard for spaceflight today.

Here’s the transcript for full context:

> My name is Kelly Smith and I work on navigation and guidance for Orion. Before we can send astronauts into space on Orion, we have to test all of its systems, and there’s only one way to know if we got it right: fly it in space. For Orion’s first flight, no astronauts will be aboard. The spacecraft is loaded with sensors to record and measure all aspects of the flight in every detail. We are headed 3600 miles above Earth, 15 times higher from the planet than the International Space Station. As we get further away from Earth, we’ll pass through the Van Allen belts, an area of dangerous radiation. Radiation like this can harm the guidance systems, onboard computers or other electronics on Orion. Naturally, we have to pass through this danger zone twice: once up, and once back. But Orion has protection. Shielding will be put to the test as the vehicle cuts through the waves of radiation. Sensors aboard will record radiation levels, for scientists to study. We must solve these challenges before we send people through this region of space.

Notice when he mentions the radiation can cause harm, he’s not referring to the health of the crew. He is referring to the electrical systems most important to the control of the craft. If the guidance systems or computers become damaged or destroyed by the radiation, it’s light out for the crew, and this is indeed a challenge they must solve before sending manned craft through the Van Allen Belts.

You may ask, “Why didn’t Apollo have this problem with their electronics?” That’s a great question. Modern electrical systems are much moe susceptible to radiation damage than the older avionics used in the Apollo capsules. In short, modern electronics are more sensitive, as shown from a quote from this article here.

> On the 60th anniversary of Explorer 1, NASA said that studies of the Van Allen belts are even more impo

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

[removed]

Pilot on me!!

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/pf5pze/wp_years_ago_a_witch_cursed_you_to_always_be_the/hb2zxyo/?context=3

Part 2:

About five years into "the project", the leads decided to focus my attention almost exclusively on the field of artificial intelligence.

"A true, self-improving AI would be able to solve all the other fundamental problems we've been using you for," explained Dr Ramos, the newest edition to the team, poached from Stanford. "A true AI could cure cancer. It could rapidly advance mathematics, our understanding of natural laws and computing, rocketry, and so on. It could solve world hunger in an instant. End war. Its cognitive power would render you obsolete."

"So you're saying--"

"If you can help us jump over the hurdles that have kept us from advancing in machine learning," said Dr Ramos, "then we won't need to keep you imprisoned like this anymore. If you help us usher in the singularity, you can go free."

I had immaculate study habits as it was. I had become a finely tuned machine when it came to absorbing and applying knowledge. But now I had a goal beyond merely learning. Now I was motivated by the promise of freedom. All I needed to do was catch up to the cutting edge of AI research, and sit patiently back as I pushed those in my presence beyond that cutting edge.

I set to learning with a new intensity. I got caught up on the hard and soft problems associated with machine learning. I had renowned specialists in the field as my personal tutors. I made progress swiftly, and even poked beyond the limits of my tutors now and again, which forced them into new insights.

"I've just had a eureka moment regarding the problem of big data and interpretability," said Dr Ramos.

We had just been discussing the topic. Evidently, my knowledge must have caught up to his, which had nudged him forward. But he was always at least one step ahead of me. Everyone was.

"A wonderful new insight," he said, scribbling it down in his notebook. "A paradigm shifting idea."

"You're welcome," I said.

"It wasn't your idea," he snapped. "It was mine. The product of my own peculiar genius. A lifetime of work in the field, culminating in a startling new perspective. Though, I suppose, without you to bounce ideas off of. . ."

I was no longer frustrated by the complete lack of acknowledgement I r

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

They just don’t work!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.