Because there were lots of fans
Dad: Because your mom put her heart and soul in it.
Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!
Because Russia kept stalin
It's 90 degrees there
His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.
Because he is made out of just-ice
I must have fallen on hard Times.
I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
We felt so sorry for him because the poor guy was completely covered in snow, but this morning, he had just vanished!
Not a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him!
The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!
That's the thanks we get for being good to people?!
I'm warning all of you to watch out for this man!
He is a heavy set, white guy, wearing nothing but a scarf.
He has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny, they look like sticks.
Whatever you do, don't bring him into your house!
....that I am up this early!”
Because she’s always fighting with Unclearctica
Edit: UncleArctica
I assure her it was quilted
He goes "Thanks for Zincing of me" and walks out the door without missing a beat.
My my phone’s weather app froze.
When it was really cold we would light it...
It's Chile near where they're from.
... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.
Because he's an otter pop!
Conjestion, coughing, the works... She was getting moving for work this morning and I met her coming out of the bathroom...
Me: I can so tell you're into funeral homes...
Wife: cough ... What?
Me: Because you're just a coughin'.
Wife: pre-coffee eyeroll and groan
EDIT: Formatting
"So it'll freeze the shit out of you."
Also,
"Here I sit all brokenhearted: tried to shit and only farted."
Dad : "Because your mother put her heart and soul into it."
It is SO COLD I saw a politician with his hands in HIS OWN POCKETS !!!!
It's always 90 degrees.
