I slipped on the ice today, and when I got up I had a craving for pasta,

Must've been Italian ice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, quietly slip them under the refrigerator.

Soon it will be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
This morning, I slipped on some ice and slammed my leg into my truck.

I think I have a concuss-shin.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kehian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad slipped on a patch of ice today. Being the concerned son, I ask 'dad, are you alright??'

To which he replies 'no son, I'm half left'

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OGMudChicken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
I was advised to post these here. I apologize in advance.

What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?

A: Lenin suits

What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?

A: That'll leave a Marx!

What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?

A: Stop Stalin and get to work!

What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?

A: Mao! That hurts!

An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.

The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."

The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."

20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.

The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"

The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crookedletter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad told me an old one he once said to a friend

The two were ice fishing, and the wind had blown away some patches that became really slippery, and the two of them weren't wearing any boot spikes. Dad slips and falls right on his chin, seeing stars and nearly passed out. tries to get up but can't, just lays face down on the ice for a bit to get his bearings.

Friend: Hey Bill you alright?

Dad: Yeah I'm fine, I got ice on it.

apparently the friend laughed so hard he slipped and fell on the ice as well

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iceman19-2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.