Went to Nordstrom’s to pick up a new tie for my sisters wedding. I was shocked to find that they only had two left.

Both were very nice but I couldn’t decide which I liked more.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dogsarmy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad gave a speech at my big sisters wedding.

He had my sister put a hand in, her husband put his hand on top of hers, then she put her other hand over his, then his other hand over hers. Then he told her husband β€œThis is the last time you’ll ever have the upper hand”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a speech at my sister's wedding.

it was very heartfelt, and had spurts of humour everyone could laugh along with.

Then I finished it with a toast to bread. So many groans. That's how I know they loved it

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
🚨︎ report
So my sister's wedding was yesterday....

I was in dad joke purgatory last night and all day yesterday. I may or not have been a little drunk but my dad and all my uncles had the best jokes.

For one my dad came to change in my hotel room where my girlfriend and I were already changing. He hangs is tuxedo and everything on a ceiling fan a few minutes pass and he's got his pants on so I go looking for his suspenders and I can't find them and I ask him where they are and he looks me dead in the eyes," oh they're still suspended".. And starts laughing to himself...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thoughtsofthefree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Had my best man speech for my best friends wedding yesterday and I finished with a great one

"Well this has been a really emotional day, gosh...even the wedding cake is in tiers." Got lots of heavy sighing, laughs and tons of boos....I was very happy with the reception

  • thanks for the upvotes! Never thought I'd see the front page, it's been a pun-ishing wait to get there
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinioForza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
🚨︎ report
He believed it for years!

As a kid I loved to get the sunday comics from the paper and read Calvin and Hobbes. I loved it so much my parents would get me the compilation books as gifts for birthdays and christmas. I always thought it was funny when Calvin would ask his dad how "x" works. One day my son when he was about 6 years old asked my why some TV shows were in black and white. Inspired by this calvin and hobbes comic where Calvin's dad explains why photos are black and white. http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch930919.gif

I decided to do the same thing to my kid. I told him that the world was black and white back then and that things didn't start to become in color for decades later. I got a good chuckle out of it, but because he was so young, I didn't realize that he actually believed it. I soon forgot that I told him the world was black and white. When he was about 11 or 12, one day I got a call from my wife and she asked me, "Did you tell your son that the world used to be black and white?" I start laughing immediately and said yes! How did you know? She said because your son is writing an essay about how the world used to be black and white for school and he asked me what year the world became color. He believed that for like 6 years!

πŸ‘︎ 536
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimillett
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
You know when someone walks past you and you catch a bit of their conversation? Even if it is feckin weird? Well....

So I was waiting in the car while my parents were waving off my sister to go on a school trip.

I’m on my phone, chilling out when I suddenly see a girl of about 4 or 5 with her mother walking past. They are talking but all I catch is the little girl saying:

β€œThe wedding was so emotional, even the cake was crying!”

I found this hilarious, and later passed it on to my father who then said

β€œIf the little girl wanted to be smart, she should of said β€˜the cake was in tears’” (as in tiers of a cake)

I just face palmed at this moment πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoelyMaya
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I got asked what I like about my sister-in-law

She recently got married and took the last name of her husband, which happened to be "Kind".

At the wedding party, I got asked what I like most about my sister-in-law.

My answer: "I really appreciate the marriage, because no matter how much I annoy her now, she won't get mad. She'll always be Kind."

The look on her face said: she did not see that coming. She was annoyed.

...but remained kind.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Buff_Tucker_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Comforter

Wife: Hey, your sister's wedding is coming up, what do you wanna get her for a gift?

Me: I have no idea. What do you think she'd like?

Wife: Well, she mentioned to your mom that she could really use a comforter for their new bedroom set

Me: A comforter? Oh, yeah, I got that covered.

Wife: You do?

Me: Yeah! Starts rubbing her arm gently

Wife: Wh-what.. are you doing?

Me: shhhhh... it's okayyyy.

Wife: What? What're you doing?

Me: Being a comforter!

(This was before we got married, and she still brings it up to this day for being the most ridiculous dad joke she's ever heard.)

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
More aware of the volume after subscribing to this subreddit

On Facetime with my mom today.

Mom: frtu, you should really cut your hair for your sister's wedding.
Frtu: Mom, do you know how long it took me to grow it out like this?
Mom: Don't worry it'll grow back.
Dad (in the background): But Karla, don't you realize he's attached to it?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frtu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Visiting my grandparents when my aunt arrives...

My dad to his sister "Did you hear about the two antenna that got married?" "no." "Oh, the wedding was alright, but the reception was great!"

My aunt and I lost it. The rest of the room filled with groaning.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/landlubber12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Genes

About two years ago, my sister got married. After the wedding the photographer said she wanted pictures of my grandfather and sister.

As she was setting up my dad goes to the photographer and says, "guess my fathers age," to which she replies, "hmm..60?" My dad says "70, would you believe it?"

The photographer gasps and says "wow! 70? Those are some great genes you have." In which my father says, "huh? Genes? I'm wearing dress pants, it's a wedding," rolls his eyes, and walks off.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Startingariot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.