Trying to remember the name of this short story where there’s a badly behaved princess who is never punished because in this world, princesses will only ever cry once in their lives and the tears are extremely valuable. Instead, all of her punishments are done to a whipping boy. They become friends and eventually she ends up crying her one cry because she has to watch him be punished. I read this around 2006, so nothing published after that. It‘s also not The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman, which is the only thing that ever comes up when I google it. Thanks!
So I know this isn't super helpful, but to give you a good range of where to look, my parents provided mostly hand me down books, so I read a lot of children's books from the 1940s and up. Around 2010, I remember reading a book about some thieves on a ship who stole something, so these people have a bright idea to put all the people in a dark room and touch a pig. They claim the pig will tell them who is the thief. When everyone has touched the pig, they turn the lights on and inspect everyone's hands. The pig was covered in ashes (or some dark coloured dust) so everyone except for the thieves had the dust on their hands.
All I can remember is that they were gold mining in one part of the book, and were held up by some people. I think they weren't allowed to be carrying gold, and the butler had it hidden within his glove. The butler proceeded to remove his glove carefully, then slapped one of the people with said glove, the extra weight of the gold doing considerable damage.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
A play on words.
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
They were cooked in Greece.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
