19 Hilarious Shoulder To Shoulder Puns

My dad had a piece of skin from his shoulder grafted to his nose today. I'm just glad he'll always have a shoulder to cry on.

I also told him "now you'll be able to put your nose up at someone and give them the cold shoulder at the same time"

He thought I was "very punny"

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👤︎ u/AnotherMotherFuker

📅︎ May 13 2021

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My wife broke up with me at the star wars celebration. An anakin cosplayer came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said...

May divorce be with you.

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👤︎ u/Kinjesus

📅︎ Sep 28 2020

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Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?

Gluten Tag.

edit : i fucked up the title

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👤︎ u/running-dead-child

📅︎ Jul 28 2020

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The police pulled up right next to me and my Yamaha on the shoulder of the highway today…

Apparently, it’s not the best place to play a keyboard…

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ May 25 2020

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I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...

...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.

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👤︎ u/mihaaal2481

📅︎ May 03 2020

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I was going to sculpt a human out of clay. I got the lower body and torso but ran out at the shoulders.

I didn't plan ahead

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👤︎ u/coluber_kid

📅︎ Dec 31 2019

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I need a shoulder to cry on

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👤︎ u/bbbbra

📅︎ Jun 10 2019

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A guy went to a Halloween party wearing regular clothes with his girlfriend sitting on his shoulder.....

...the host said where's your costume? The guy said I'm wearing a costume - I'm a snail. The host said you're a snail? The guy said yes, a snail, and pointed to his girlfriend and said this is Michelle.

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👤︎ u/2donutkid2

📅︎ Oct 29 2018

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My buddy needed a shoulder to crayon when he saw this

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👤︎ u/Berkelium_BK

📅︎ Dec 11 2017

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I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.

He is always serious and never humerus...

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Sep 13 2019

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If a cannibal is late to dinner, he gets the cold shoulder.

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👤︎ u/tekeleven

📅︎ Sep 12 2018

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It's better to amputate at the shoulder,

Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.

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👤︎ u/samsw21

📅︎ Feb 20 2019

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I was at school today and they ask us if the bill of rights apply to us students i responded we can't bare shoulders never mind baring arms

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👤︎ u/gardnbra7

📅︎ Sep 03 2019

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While my girlfriend was cleaning. I was giving my daughter a bath. My daughter kept putting her rubber ducks on my shoulder.. So I told my girlfriend I need to see a chiropractor. Because my shoulder keeps quacking!! She was not happy about this..

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👤︎ u/Irorii

📅︎ Jun 29 2019

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Did you hear about the Boston Dynamics home-protection robot that failed to stop intruders due to faulty shoulder bolts?

It was easily disarmed.

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👤︎ u/cyphr0st

📅︎ Jul 22 2019

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