The ATF arrested my dog today.

Seems she didn’t have a licker license.

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👤︎ u/mgsalinger
📅︎ Mar 25 2022
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What did the dog say after his Dad was involved in a shoot-out?

You shot my Paw!

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👤︎ u/Fuckyou62
📅︎ Jan 02 2020
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What kind of dog has a gun and shoots people?

A terrierist.

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👤︎ u/ToonyCream
📅︎ Dec 01 2018
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"Had to shoot my dog the other day." "Was he mad?"

"Well, he wasn't pleased."

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👤︎ u/FyreFlu
📅︎ May 27 2015
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Got my own dad yesterday during fireworks

My dad, my brothers, and I have been at our family farm (we don't live there) for the weekend of the 4th. Last night we were outside shooting off fireworks, as any real American does on the 4th. About 50 feet in front of the house is a 4 foot high fence. My dad discovered that one of the cracker launchers we had fit perfectly in the upper part to launch the crackers into the air at an angle. Always the cautious one of the bunch, I responded to his idea:

"I dunno dad, I'm on the fence about this one."

Naturally, my brothers congratulated me on how lame my jokes were and told me to go inside and make more hot dogs.

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👤︎ u/degco44
📅︎ Jul 05 2015
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