My daughter pointed at a spear and said β€œdaddy look it’s sharp”

I replied with β€œthat’s the point”

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sharp dot who points out directions for blind people

A pointy point who has no point in pointing

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casecracker108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I've decided to marry a pencil.

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to sell skewers for a living

things were always sharp and to the point

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
That's some sharp wit right there.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/babydoll_bd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Used a dad joke on my dad

He was sharpening a pencil with his pocket knife but kept cutting the end off. "Dad if you keep this up its just going to be pointless."

πŸ‘︎ 263
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tonsofpunsarefun
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
I sell newly produced knives.

I am a dealer in cutting-edge technology

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoetje
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Where did the pirate get his hooks?

A second hand store.

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordSentinus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My son, who's studying ancient Greek culture in school, got me again.

In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Dr. Ann Kerr

Watching 'Operation Ouch' on Cbbc tonight with wife and kids. Someone called Dr. Ann Kerr appears on the show at some point. I couldn't help it, I said "I know her, she used to work in the Port of Dover". Kids didn't register. Murderous look from my wife. Have now put away all sharp objects just to be on the safe side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Sword puns are stupid..

.. Maybe I'm not sharp enough to understand them but I don't get their point.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggar92
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Two for one.

I went to visit a friend today. I'm a somewhat restless guy, so while we were hanging out I pulled out my stiletto and started playng with it. He says, 'That's a sharp knife.' I replied, 'That's the point.'

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HuckleberryJazz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Fireman told me this one

Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.

So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XIGRAHAMIX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.