I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Too many people love blaming 2FA SMS but let me tell you that isn't even the real problem.

To recap, in order to access a Coinbase account you need the following:

1. Password
2. 2FA code (assume this is SMS code for this discussion)
3. E-Mail access to approve a new device

Now if someone steals your 2FA code by SMS that doesn't get into your account at all. Even a SIM port wouldn't get you in. Coinbase doesn't reset passwords via SMS although your e-mail might. So if configured properly, an SMS port gets you in nothing. You still can't get into a well protected email account and Coinbase account.

What does this mean?

Disable resetting passwords via SMS. In Gmail, there's an option for a recovery phone #. Remove that ASAP. Even if you used Yubikey in GMail, a recovery phone # could potentially bypass the benefits of a hardware key. I have personally verified that you can remove your phone # in Gmail, Hotmail, and Yahoo, so if you still have a phone # on your email account, you're just asking for trouble.

Resetting passwords via SMS isn't 2FA at all. It's single factor at best. When people mix this concept up with 2FA SMS, they're not understanding the weak point.

Power of the Password

In theory, 2FA via SMS is still better than no 2FA. Remember, 2FA is a SECOND factor, meaning they need your primary factor, your password. Far too many people think that using a weak password, reusing a password, etc is acceptable as long as you have 2FA. You're not thinking about it the right way. In the cases of reused passwords or even slight variations of the same password, most likely those are already cracked or on the verge of being cracked. If you're relying on 2FA, then your account is basically dangling by a string.

If you use a strong password, like 20+ randomly generated characters, there's virtually no way into your account. Brute force cracking won't be able to get in within your lifetime and even if weak hashing algorithms like SHA-1 or MD5 are used, you should still be fine.

If you haven't gotten a password manager yet, you really need to get one. In fact I'd go as far to say that without a password manager, you're basically risking your account and you should expect your funds to be stolen at some point. There's no way you as a human being are generating secure passwords and more importantly no way you're using unique login

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Rule 1: Only the WOA Trilogy. No ETs, no Bonus missions. or bonus campaigns. (Ik but it's a pain).

HITMAN 2016.Notes:

1st Degree Murder is the intentional killing of another person by someone who has acted willfully, deliberately, or with planning.

2nd Degree Murder is if the defendant (criminal) Kills the victim with no plan.

And 3rd Degree murder is if the Defendant kills someone unintentionally or accidentally.

Yes, this is a Sandbox but let's take it as SA.

General Charges: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd-degree murder, trespassing on private property, Identity theft, etc.

Will take 1st-degree murder as a silent murder for SA.

Paris

2 counts of 1st-degree murder, (The murder of Dalia and Novikov).

Disguises: Impersonating as a Local Security Guard and CICADA Agent.Trespassing on unauthorized property.

Sapienza

2 Counts of 1st-degree murder. (The murder of Desantis and Caruso).1 Count of tampering with private evidence(the virus).Impersonating as a Bodyguard, Private Bodyguard and CICADA Agent and as an Unlicensed Doctor. (Doctor being the scientist).Trespassing on private property.

Marrakesh

2 counts of 1st-Degree Murder(The Murder of Stranberg and Zaydan)2 Counts of trespassing on federal property. (Consulate General and Military Base).Impersonating as a Military Soldier, Military Officer, and Security Guard.

Bangkok

2 counts of 1st-degree murder (Ken Morgan and Jordan Cross).Impersonating as a Security Guard, Hotel Staff and Bodyguard.Trespassing on private property(Suites, basement, etc.)

Colorado

4 counts of 1st-degree murder. (rose, Parvati, Graves, and berg).Trespassing on Private Property.Impersonating as a Milliant member.

Hokkaido

2 counts of 1st-degree murder. (the murder of Soders and Yamasaki).Impersonating as a doctor without a registered licence. Impersonating as a Security Guard, and bodyguard.Trespassing on Private property.

Hawkes Bay

Stealing private evidence.Trespassing on Private Property.1 count of 1st and 2nd-Degree murder. (Alma Raynard).Impersonating as a Private Bodyguard.

Miami

2 counts of 1st-Degree Murder (The Knoxes).Impersonating as Security Guard, Private Bodyguard, Local Security Guard, An engineer with no Ph.D. and no License. A Medical Doctor without a registered Licence.Trespassing on unauthorized property.

Santa Fortuna

3 counts of 1st-degree murder. (Martinez, Delgado and Franco).Impersonating as a Federal Security Guard, Private Security Guard.Trespassing on private property.

Mumbai

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Author's notes: sorry for the hiatus again. I'm introducing a few things here that should hopefully be worth the wait. I wrote ahead partly to sort out the details and implications and make sure it'd all work. Since I've written a good deal ahead hopefully I should be able to get more published often. So on with the story.

Chapter 1

Erin, Emer, Connor, Tyrone, Isabella, Gráinne, and Brian are gathered outside the closed door that leads to the bridge. Unfortunately the chariot hadn't made it there before they sealed the bridge. They had hoped if it could it would be an easy win.

“So do we blast the doors open or can we see if they'll agree to a champion fight?” asks Brian hopefully in his nudity covered in blood and blue intricate curvilinear tattoos.

“I say we with the war hammers see if we can tear through the doors.” Says Connor in his chainmail with a boar atop his helmet and Emer nods enthusiastically at this while dressed similarly. While the hammers had been fun the true purpose of the weapon felt unfulfilled for the point of a war hammer is to dent and tear into, and tear off, plate armor. A thick metal door to the bridge is kind of like armor.

“Let's do this escalation wise. We give the demand of an all or nothing champion fight. If they accept we win the champion fight. If they refuse we use the hammers. If that doesn’t work then we can blow the doors. Unless someone has another idea.” Says Erin in her chainmail and gold plated breast plate with a raven atop her helm. As there are no further ideas and no dissent she patches herself into the speaker system and says “We demand a one on one champion fight. Whosoever's champion wins the fight wins the whole battle. We'll even let you choose which of our champions you face off against.”

The group waits around for an answer. Tyrone, who is garbed in an ancient Irish gambeson with a cuirass of studded leather, suggests sardonically that “Maybe they didn't understand. Repeat louder but slower.”

The groups chuckles together and further still when Erin does just that. They wait again. Still no answer. Gráinne, in her gold plated steel scale shirt and her gold plated helm that has an almost blade like fin bisect the whole helmet, wonders aloud “Maybe they think they are supposed to respond through comms but we still have their control jammed.”

“Maybe they ju

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

Guten Abend meine Lieblings Affen!

Heute ist mir fast mein Kackstift gegangen, als mein ING Onlinedepot nur noch die hälft wert war.

Ich gehe jetzt einfach mal davon aus, dass die Aktien zeitnah bei IBRK auftauchen, nachdem ich mit Rechtlichen Schritte gedroht hatte.

Dank u/Abulafil80 werde ich sehr genau drauf achten wie lange das dauert. Um aber druck machen zu können müsste ich wissen wie lange es bei euch gedauert hat um ein Abweichen der Norm schnell zu erkennen.

Bei u/Abulafil80 spiele ich auf diesen Post von Ihm an. (Ich schicke mal den Link rein, ich hoffe das geht)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Spielstopp/comments/s0j6on/limbostan_pt2_aktien_bei_ing_ausgebucht_aber/

Um der Post Reihe von mir ein Ende zu setzten, bei der der Inhalt immer magerer und unnützer geworden ist, möchte ich noch mein Endresümee noch niederschreiben.

Teil 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/Spielstopp/comments/rprcg1/affen_machen_keinen_winterschlaf_die_ing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Teil 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/Spielstopp/comments/rra78v/fortsetzung_von_affen_machen_keinen_winterschlaf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

-> Druck auf die Banken bei der Depotübertragung machen loht sich!!!

--> Mit rechtlichen Schritten bei weiteren Verzögerungen zu drohen schadet nicht!!

---> Emotionslose und sachliche E-Mails eurerseits bringen mehr als aus Wut den oder die Angestellte zu beleidigen!

Wir (Apes) DÜRFEN in dieser Sache nicht naiv handeln! Es kann ja sein, dass in meinem Fall die ING nichts dafür kann oder keinen bösen Hintergedanken dabei hat aber was wenn schon?

Was wenn deren Plan ist möglichst viele Aktien verleihen zu können speziell in den kommenden Wochen wo es hoffentlich wieder heiß hergehen wird?

Am Ende wird man es Ihnen nie nachweisen können! Aber man kann damit auch nicht ausschließen, dass es deren Plan ist.

Es liegt nur in DEINEM Interesse DEINE Aktien auf DICH registrieren zu lassen!

Jeder

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob