See You Tomorrow Puns

Pasta marinara!!!

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Me: Tomorrow you won't need to wear these glasses.

Wife: Why?

Me: Because you'll be seeing in 2020!!!

So I immediately pounced upon the opportunity and forwarded the time in his laptop by 6 hours.

When he returned, I said, "I'm leaving now. It's 5 PM already."

"Oh yes it is," He said, "See you tomorrow."

"It fucking worked!" I thought to myself, as I jolted towards home.

I then enjoyed my entire day and was sleeping peacefully at night, when my phone suddenly rang at 3:15 AM.

He said, "Hurry up, you're 15 minutes late for work."

Yes! Great, mine too! See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!

I had a horrible thought earlier. You see, I have a date set up tomorrow with a lovely girl and I thought to myself, how horrible would it be to die before the date?! I barely know this girl, none of my friends have met her, haven’t really told anyone about her, if I died she’d have no clue. My only option would be to ghost her.

I was helping my daughter pack her car today, getting ready to leave tomorrow morning. She had a set of plastic stacking drawers wedged into her car, but in getting it there, it had come apart some, so we had to take it out to tape it together better. There was a black plastic bag leaning against it, and in all the wriggling, the drawers tore a small hole in the plastic bag. After taping the drawers, I noticed a small piece of the black plastic stuck to the drawers. I took it off and tried to give it to my daughter, saying, "Here's your hole," but of course she didn't want it, so I put it (you see this coming already, don't you?) in my pocket, and said, "Now I have a hole in my pocket." Her eye-roll was hilarious.

(Does anyone else remember a similar bit from the "Yellow Submarine" movie?)

I had been driving for a few years and had just moved off to college.

I was on my way back home to visit and it got dark during my drive. My headlights and radio worked but my dash lights were not coming on. When I got home I asked my dad about it and he said he'd go take a look. He went outside then comes back in the house just a few minutes later.

Me: "Did you find out what the problem is?"

Dad: "I think so."

Me: "Well, what was it?"

Dad: "I'll have to show you tomorrow, if I'm right then we're going to have fun working on your truck all morning."

We wait until morning, and dad wakes me up to go work on my truck. We go outside and he has me walk him through the entire problem again. Which lights were working and which were not, has me start the truck a few times and has me do the same troubleshooting I did the night before. I was getting frustrated and told him I tried absolutely everything.

Then he says "I think there's one thing you forgot." He points at a knob by the steering wheel. I looked at where he was pointing and it hit me. It's the damned the dash-light dimmer switch, and it was set to it's lowest (dimmest) position. When I looked back up at him he just had the biggest grin on his face. He then went into a full explanation on how this knob worked, knowing full well that I already knew what that knob did. Which, by the way, I'm sitting on the driver's seat and he's standing at the driver's side door. So I had no way to walk away from this embarrassing moment. All I could do was look down at the steering wheel and listen to him enjoying his joke.

Bonus story #1:

I'm in my 30s and one of my friends is a 74 year old guy that I play pool with. He always asks me what I've been up to, and one time I told him I met a girl.

He got excited and said "Do you have any pictures of her?" So I showed him a few pictures of us together.

Old man: "She's beautiful! She sounds like a keeper."

Then he leans in with a grin and says "Do you have any naked pictures of her?"

Me: "No way!"

Old man: "Do you want to see some?"

Bonus story #2:

That same old man was at our friend's wedding. He's sitting at the table with his wife and a bunch of other people. The conversation is about how they have been married for 50+ years. He says "I don't know how she's put up with me for this many years. But I've always told her that she can leave whenever she wants to, cause I'm comin' with her."

His wife explained that she has heard all of his jokes so

His wife's due date was today, but nothing has happened yet. She will have the upper hand all day tomorrow. I can just see these happening.

Wife: "Honey, it's finally happening."

Husband: "What? Are you going into labor?"

Wife: "It's finally April Fools Day."

Wife: "Honey, it broke."

Husband: "What? Your water broke?"

Wife: "Water's still fine, I just broke my nail."

So as the title says I was making some egg benedict with smoked salmon (for the first time), my dad walked in and saw the mess I had created and said:

"You'll probably catch salmonella after eating that!"

He may be right though, we'll just have to wait and see until tomorrow :/

Me: So I'll see you tomorrow morning around 8:15?

Dad: Yup, be there or be an equilateral quadrilateral!

Called in to get my work for the next day as I'm a student who's brought back part-time over the Christmas break.

Me: "Hi, I'm ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas, can I have my work for tomorrow?"

Dispatch:"Hi ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas, how are you?"

Conversation for about 2 minutes

Me: "Okay, see you at 5:00am tomorrow! Have a good day Dispatch!"

Dispatch:"Bye, ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas."

Clearly he'd fit right in here

To give some context, I was describing my week ahead to a friend of mine, given that we both work in film.

Me: I'm shooting some convention tomorrow afternoon

Friend: What kind of convention?

Me: No idea, it's only in the afternoon on a Thursday

Me: I guess you could say it's unconventional.

We're in different continents right now and I'm pretty sure he could see my smirk.

See ya later, have a great night and if I don't see you tomorrow, have a Good Friday!

While working the graveyard shift my coworkers and I agreed to take a break and regroup at 12:15am. As we were leaving I said "ok see you guys tomorrow". I gave myself a good chuckle!

So today for lunch we were having mac'n cheese for lunch. And I see my dad is taking ALL of the cheese (we serve them separately) and I stop saying "leave some".

His reply "Don't leave for tomorrow what you can eat today"...

There was this convenience store and the owner had a parrot perched next to the register. The parrot would talk to customers as they walked by and one day a man was walking by and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw.". Taken aback, the man said "What did you say?" and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw."

The man was outraged. He talked to the owner and said "Do you know what your bird just said to me?"

"No." said the owner.

"He said I was the ugliest man he ever saw."

"I'll give him a talking to." said the owner. "You come back tomorrow and see if things aren't a bit different."

That night the owner takes the parrot and slaps him around some, and tells him not to insult the customers ever again.

So the next day rolls around and the man stops by the store. He walks up to the register and says to the bird "What do you think you're lookin' at?"

The bird says, "You know."

Every single time we leave a restaurant, an employee will give us the obligatory "Good bye!" to which my father says "See you tomorrow!" Makes the employees and I chuckle every time.

Son: Dad? Dad: Yeah? Son: Will you remember me tomorrow? Dad: Yeah of course. Son: Will you remember me in a week? Dad: Yeah Son: Will you remember me in a month? Dad: Course I will why are you asking? Son: Will you remember me in a year? Dad: Of course I will whats up? Son: OK Nothing

5 minutes later..

Son: Knock Knock Dad: Who's there? Son: See you've forgotton me already!!